fifteen:fifty-one photography

{a change is gonna come...}

2010-08-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

"The key to change...is to let go of fear..." ~ Rosanne Cash

Ah change, you guide me and repel me all at the same time...I lust after you and loathe you simultaneously. Why must you play with my emotions like that?!?!

Right now, for where I am and where I want to be...change is a good thing...maybe even the best of things..

So I'm pleased to announce that Fifteen:Fifty-One Photography has undergone some changes of its own; a new look, a new feel and best of all...a brand new blog!

Come over and visit me at www.fifteenfiftyone.ca/blog

Pull up a chair and stay awhile...the conversation is even better when you're a part of it!

{where were we: part 1...}

2010-07-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

"So...where were we?!?!"

This is a question that I find myself using quite often now that I have a baby! It seems that regardless of what conversation I am having...it ends up getting cut off mid-sentence thanks to some child related need! A couple of minutes later, yet another crisis is averted and those four words pour out of my mouth in a desperate attempt to pick up where I left off!

It's been working for me so far! Granted, it's not the eloquent conversation starters that I'm use to dishing out, but what can I say, I'm new at this! It's got a nice ring to it though...it rolls off the tongue so easily! So it's become sort of like my personal mission statement as I aggressively pursue my desire to finish what I've started...and my blog is no exception! Who knows, maybe it will make the perfect title for my autobiography one day!

So...let's begin, shall we?!?!

* My computer died! And I don't just mean that it had slight heart palpitations and then declared it a "close call". I mean, right there in the middle of Starbucks, it full on flat-lined! It was a rather stressful day in the Smyth house as we frantically tried to retrieve the work that I had done on it that morning, only to find that things would go from bad to worse very quickly when we made a very fatal error that caused my external hard drive to kick the bucket at the very same time. Awesome! So there we were, at 2:30am with my laptop in the freezer {because someone in cyberspace told us to and by this time we had nothing to lose!} while my husband fixed my backup. Long story short; the external hard drive pulled through...the freezer actually worked {seriously!}...Apple so graciously replaced my laptop hard drive for free...and my boys bought me a 22" imac for my birthday! So forty-eight hours of total panic turned out pretty well for us in the end!

* Hudson got sick for the first time a few weeks ago. The poor little guy got an ear infection and my normally brilliant little sleeper spent the night waking up every fifteen minutes screaming. It was wretched. What was even more wretched though is the discovery that a new mother with a sick baby for the first time could, quite literally, drive herself completely insane trying to self-diagnose on Google! During the dark, sleepless hours of the night, I had successfully managed to convince myself that my baby was dying and let me tell you...it wasn't pretty! Sure enough though, we saw the doctor early the next morning who not only reassured me that Hudson had nothing more than an inner ear infection...but also suggested that Google and I take a little break from each other for a while!!

* It's going to be August in three days! Crazy! This is somewhat terrifying as I realize how quickly the summer is passing us by! But August is also going to be an amazing and very exciting month for me! I often think that as photographers, the learning curve evolves; you tend to go through waves of inspiration as the seasons come and go, and you also go through times of repetition, in which case it can be easy to lose some of your motivation. As a business owner, I tend to experience much of the same cycle as I get better at my work flow or improve my marketing skills. Everything just seems to have its time and place. I've decided though that this summer, I would like to experience something a bit different on the learning curve; something other than new venues or new equipment...something a little more personal. For many, many months now I've been following the blog of Ewan and Brianna Phelan; an amazing couple who give you a completely beautiful glimpse into their world as wedding photographers. In a couple of weeks, I'm going to be heading to London, Ontario so that they can take me under their wing and show me what it's like to be The Last Forty Percent. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to spend time with these two and to learn from their brilliant minds as both photographers and very successful business owners. And to top it all off...just as I was finalizing some of the details of my time with them...I got booked to shoot in wedding in {wait for it...} London! I suppose this would be a marvelous time to thank fate for its impeccable timing!!!!

* Speaking of The Last Forty Percent...my high school boyfriend is getting married this weekend and guess who's doing their wedding pictures?!?! You guessed it {or at least I hope you did...because that was kind of a dead giveaway!}! Julio was my first serious boyfriend...my first love...my first lust...and my first of many broken hearts! We were together in the time of CrazySexyCool and Motown Philly. He took me to my senior prom and I'm not going to lie...we got in lots of trouble from our parents over the course of our relationship for various rule breaking in the name wanting to see each other!!! But he was the best first boyfriend a girl could ever ask for and I'm beyond excited for him and his stunning fiance {whom I've never met but I can only assume that she is fantastic given his absolutely stellar taste in women!!!!}. Julio and Candace...I wish you an amazing wedding and an even more amazing life together! You make a truly gorgeous couple {we even have the pictures to prove it!}!

And on that note, I hear a little man downstairs in need of a bath and a bedtime story!!! Bath time has officially become my favourite time of day...mostly because it looks a little something like this...

{i.heart.summer...}

2010-07-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

"Then followed that beautiful season...Summer...
Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape
Lay as if new created all the freshness of childhood."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

More of Sarah & Greg's engagement session coming soon!

{blog in waiting...}

2010-06-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

Dear sweet blogosphere...how I miss thee...oh let me count the ways! I miss the way in which you lure me to stay up way past my bedtime and the witty banter that you never fail to provide. But what can I say...my son is just irresistibly adorable and while it's true that you don't randomly pee on me the way he does, you also don't provide that same charming little smile that always manages to melt my heart. But I do miss you all the same...

So this is what it's come to ladies and gentlemen; me, talking to my blog as though it's an estranged lover that I've abandoned so that I can run away with my family to the foothills of some far off mountains!!!! And I can't help but wonder if we'll ever be the same?!?!

The truth is, we've been busy here behind the camera...very busy. And blogging, while I've longed for the return of our special love affair, has had to take a back seat for a little while to the real work. We are full swing ahead in what is proving to be an amazing season and once the dust settles a little bit, I look forward to sharing it all with you here...in our little piece of cyberspace!

In the meantime though, we are plucking away, a day at a time, slowly but surely, and enjoying some well deserved time with each of our clients. Not only are we booking for the 2011 season already, but we'll also be heading on our second client inspired road trip in August for another out of town wedding. I can hardly wait!

So, as we bid farewell to the month of June very shortly, know that there is lots to look forward to in the coming weeks! I'll be blogging about Brooke and Alan's engagement shoot, Kari and Lee's maternity shoot (who happen to be in the hospital as I type this!), Lesley and Bill's engagement shoot, Jocelyn and Dan's engagement shoot, and of course, our 2010 brides and grooms!

But for now, as you patiently wait with me a little bit longer...here's my favourite reason for my blog absence {and really, can you blame me?!?!}...

{the new generation...}

2010-06-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

Hudson: "I'm a PC {on mommy's mac!} and Windows 7 was my idea!!"

{sylvie & denis: wedding...again!}

2010-06-11T18:59:00.000-07:00

Being a wedding photographer, I obviously love weddings. I love the joy, the happiness, the excitement and most of all, I love the romance. Simply put...I love love!

My husband and I will be celebrating our five year anniversary this coming August and I just love looking back on our wedding day; the beautiful weather, the time spent with our closest family and friends, everyone looking totally amazing and of course, my husband. My man, my best friend, my most handsome of sights...my beloved.

But, when you put all of the beauty and romance aside, I think that it's worth mentioning that a wedding is not the same as a marriage.

I believe very strongly in marriage. I believe in standing before God and committing your life to another human being. I believe in the act of consciously choosing to witness another person's life. I believe that in a world which is lacking so much conviction, marriage opens us up and challenges us to give the most vulnerable and sacred part of ourselves to another.

Having said that...marriage is not always easy. It isn't always easy to compromise. It isn't always easy to share your goals, your dreams, your finances, your remote control. It isn't always easy to make the effort to grow through life along side someone else instead of on your own. It isn't always easy to show true humility for someone you love.

But it is always worth it. It's worth the effort...the compromise...the passionate love affair that comes with knowing someone so intimately. It's worth every moment.

When my God mother called me and asked if I would be willing to photograph the ceremony celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary, I was overcome with honour. I was the flower girl when she first got married and now, twenty-five years later, I'm pleased to say that not only has my style in hair cuts improved immensely but their marriage is also going stronger than ever!!! The silver anniversary is a rare occurrence in this day and age that tends to take matrimony fairly lightly. To witness two people recommit their lives to one another is beyond magical, beyond inspiring, beyond beautiful.

With their three amazing children by their side and all those that they love looking on, Sylvie and Denis renewed their vows in the same church that they originally did twenty-five years earlier. As I watched and captured with completed admiration, I also concluded that there was simply no better way of starting of my new season, both as a photographer and as a mother...than this very place...with these very people...

Sylvie and Denis...congratulations on 25 years of making magic!

I love you! xoxo

{rockabye baby...}

2010-06-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

For my Hudson...
The littlest rocker in my life...

{when words fail...}

2010-05-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Her name was Nancy and she came to visit me at our house just after Hudson was born. She had been a nurse for nearly her entire life and was exactly the face that I needed to see after the week that I had just experienced. She was gentle. Non-judgmental. Calm. She was all of the things that I wasn't at the time and she was there to tell me that everything would be alright.

I answered the door that morning in tears. It was my first day alone at the house with Hudson and the world looked very different to me at the time. She very graciously assured me that I was certainly not the first new mother to find herself in such a state. We sat down in our family room, Hudson asleep on the couch, and began to discuss what had triggered this onset of tears. She, of course, already knew because she had seen and heard it countless times before...but it was a first for me.

We sat and talked for nearly two hours. Mostly about the baby and motherhood but also just about life because our new baby had just become our life. As she quietly sat across from me, she began to ask about our future...the life that would inevitably build once this day of endless tears finally passed. That's when she asked me if I was planning on going back to work.

Work! What a strange concept that had become over time now that I was holding a tiny little person whose very survival was dependent on me. Wasn't I already in the midst of the most difficult work that I'd ever do? But I had also left another kind of "work"...the work that I had known for over a decade that didn't involve spit up and changing diapers. Then there was also my camera; the one thing that stood alone in this discussion...

I was planning on returning to my photography less than three short months after having Hudson. Certainly not with the same time consuming schedule that I would otherwise commit to but I was going back nonetheless. And I was excited for it. I had weddings and engagements and maternity shoots all set up; I was meeting with clients about bookings for 2011; I had classes and exhibits registered for, and all the while, it didn't feel like work.

As I began to hear the words come out of my mouth, I found myself defending my choice as though I was defending my honour because somehow, in the midst of our conversation, I had caught myself questioning whether or not this made me a bad mother; whether or not my desire for something beyond motherhood meant that I wasn't cut out to do it in the first place? But my nurse just sat there with the most compassionate of expressions on her face as she listened to me battle it out with the demons in my head.

Because here's the thing...

There are no words for how much I love my son and my husband. There are no words for how much I love being a wife and a mother. There are no words for how grateful I feel to have these men in my life. There are simply no words. And so I give. I give every single fiber of my being into loving this child and the amazing man that sleeps next to me every night. And there are no words for how much I love doing so. But being the woman that I am, I can lose myself in all of the giving. I'm notorious for it.

And so I need my camera to help me be me. I need it to help remind me of the person that I was before I became a wife and a mother. And though I wasn't a photographer before either of these things, I was a person who used her artistic side as her outlet; her passion as her therapy. I need to create in order to find my sense of balance; I need the time alone, behind my camera, to breathe and re-boot. I need to visit those places in myself that are not linked to my son or my husband because in a strange sort of way, I think that doing so helps me to be a better wife and a better mother.

Or at least I hope it does because this past weekend I went back to work; back to my photography; back to my business; back to creating and most importantly, back to building a better mother for this little guy...

I think that my nurse would approve!

{by any other name...}

2010-05-11T10:52:00.001-07:00

So...my sister-in-law introduced me to someone the other day as a photographer. This was weird. I actually kind of cut her off mid-sentence and tried to throw a word or two in there to correct her. Instead, the mumbling idiot that I can be only managed to muster up something resembling "uhhh...well, not really...I mean, it's more...you know..." And on the misery went!

This prompted an interesting question afterwards though; why did I feel so uncomfortable actually being considered a photographer?

When I started running about eight years ago, I experienced the same challenge. I would run five or six times a week, trained for various races, participated in running groups and even completed a full marathon...but I never felt completely comfortable calling myself a runner. This would bother my husband to no end. "Anyone who gets up early on a Sunday morning in the middle of winter to run twenty kilometers better either call themselves a runner...or come back to bed!", he would say. He had a valid point! For me though, I always felt like I had to earn the title of being labeled a runner. As far as I was concerned, being called a runner was reserved for those who ran seriously...not someone like myself who run fifteen kilometers straight to the nearest poutine stand! Most of all, I was always waiting for that specific finish line, that specific and perfectly run race that somehow deemed me worthy of being called a runner.

Sure enough, I woke up one day and decided that I was indeed, a runner. I may not have been a good runner or a fast runner and least of all, a "serious" runner...but I was a runner! I would run through the rain, through the snow, through half marathons, through full marathons, and most of the time...I would run my way right through the front door of a Starbucks! What couldn't be disputed though was the fact that I did indeed run....and I loved it! So that became my criteria for being called a runner, once and for all!

I've been trying to apply the same logic to this new {and somewhat larger than life} title as photographer. I've been spending the past year trying to earn my way into these ranks but I never really stopped to ask myself what I considered to be the finish line. I've been continuously looking for that one photograph or that one shoot or that one moment that would carry me over through the realms of worthiness. I suppose I should be realistic enough with myself to acknowledge that my perfectionist nature may never really consider myself worthy of being called a photographer. This can be detrimental or this can be what challenges me to constantly push my creative boundaries. The choice is mine. But what can't be disputed is the fact that I do indeed take pictures...and I love it!

So by that logic...my name is Gen...and I am a photographer!

{the million dollar question...}

2010-05-02T13:00:00.001-07:00

I've been having a debate with myself as of late over which is cuter;
babies...or handsome men with their babies...??

I received my answer this morning while brushing my teeth!

{story telling...}

2010-04-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

I need to tell you a story.

It’s not a particularly good story and for most, it certainly won’t be a meaningful story…but as I sat in our nursery this morning putting Hudson to sleep, I felt compelled to tell it because our lives are made up of stories. Some stories ask questions, others give answers and in some cases, you might even get a little bit of both.

This, is one of those stories…

Today is a day very much like the day we returned home from Italy a little over six months ago; our flight arrived just after midnight and we were greeted to a cool yet comfortable autumn night. After spending ten days in the sweltering heat of Ancient Rome, it was a very welcome change. For anyone that knows Steve and I well, you know that while we love, love, love to travel…our most favourite part of all is coming home! We walked in the door that night to a batch of chocolate chip cookies and a bouquet of flowers that our friend Jamie had left for our arrival. Despite our exhaustion and rapidly closing eyelids, we found that we just couldn’t sleep. We were so excited to be home and to the months ahead that all we could think to do was to just lie in our beds in perfect contentment.

Once we finally did fall asleep, it was well into the early morning hours and the rain began to fall. We woke up a few hours later to a torrential downpour and a sense of peacefulness that neither of us had experienced in many months. I sat next to the window and watched the rain for what felt like hours. We were home. And life was good.

You see…our trip to Italy wasn’t really part of our plan for last year. We had recently spent a month in Australia the previous spring and in no way was another vacation part of our financial timeline for the year. But, that being said, the six months leading up to our vacation certainly hadn’t been part of our plan either…and plans change. And so did we.

The beginning of 2009 was a very tumultuous time for my husband and I. Our faith, our endurance and our life as we knew it was being tested. Amidst a number of other challenges that occurred during that time, my husband and I were mourning the loss of what would have been our first child. We found out about the pregnancy just before Christmas and seven weeks later, we returned home from the emergency room with the news that we were about to endure a change of plans.

At the time of our miscarriage, I was also struggling a great deal with the direction and purpose that my life was taking. For some time, I had been feeling as though I had lost my way to the comforts of job that was too small for my soul. Beginning anew is hard though…but as I soon came to learn, losing your peace of mind and sense of self is much harder.

That’s when I began to take pictures. I had always wanted to but I had been afraid. Somewhere, in the depths of my soul, I thought that it was easier to believe that I might be a great photographer than to potentially know that I was a bad one. And so it went for the first thirty years of my life…I wondered if I would have ever been a good photographer. But the loss of our first pregnancy made me take a moment to pause…it made me take a moment to recognize the drastic change in direction that our life took not only with finding out that I was pregnant but also the change that came with the pregnancy ending. As I struggled to reason with this reality, I decided that the only thing that I could do was to ensure that something beautiful came out of the extra time that we were being given. So I picked up a camera and decided to find out for real what might come of it. What did ultimately come of it far exceeded my wildest expectations and has led my life in a direction that I never even imagined possible.

And then there is Italy.

Six months after our miscarried, my husband and I decided that we needed a break; we needed some time away to take a breath from all that we had been through. We chose Europe…Steve chose Italy. We decided to go for our anniversary (August 27th) and further more, we wanted to be there to commemorate what would have been the birth of our first child, who would have been due on August 24th. So we piled up all of our pennies and booked a ten-day trip to Rome and Florence.

Two weeks later, we found out that I was pregnant with Hudson…a discovery that left us both elated and terrified all at the same time. We proceeded to spend the next two months cautiously optimistic. When we had our first appointment with our doctor, he encouraged us to take baby steps (no pun intended!) in the progression of our pregnancy. “Twelve weeks” he told us…”Let’s get to twelve weeks” (in which case the likelihood of a miscarriage decreases to less than 1%). So that became our goal…twelve weeks.

I chose to tell this story specifically because it turned out that not only did our twelve week mark also occur while we were in Italy…but our twelve week mark also happen to be the exact same day as what would have been our previous due date; August 24th.

As two very faith-filled people, we chose to spend August 24th in Vatican City. We spent a long time in St. Peter’s Basilica, we visited the tomb of Pope John Paul II, we toured the Vatican Museum and we spent a great deal of time just saying thank you…because sometimes, that’s all there really is left to say.

I am Catholic and my husband is Protestant…but we are both children of God and found there to be a great deal of holiness within the walls of St. Peter’s. We found that there was no better place for us to be at that very time in our lives where the transition of one part of our life was departing and making room for a new one; we were going to have a child, we were all perfectly healthy, I was beginning to see light in my days and closing the door on the heartbreak that I felt from the previous months, and I had found passion in my purpose.

The day after we returned home from Italy, we saw an ultrasound of Hudson for the first time and this morning, as the rain poured down, I felt that same sense of peace with the world that I had six months ago. My little boy – a little boy I never would have met had this story not happened – was asleep in my arms; my husband was asleep in the room next to us; our fur ball was asleep at my feet…and all was well with the world. I am embarking on a new career that would not have been a possibility had this story not happened with an appreciation for my health and happiness that wouldn’t be quite the same had this story not happened.

The bottom line is that this story needed to happen. For my life to happen…this story needed to happen.

A year later, my view of this experience is obviously quite different. I am able to look back and observe our endurance with a new perspective and have certainly become more open to receiving some of the answers that I originally wasn’t ready to hear. The most important of them being trust; trusting in my God, trusting in myself and trusting in the bigger story…one that is perhaps beyond our ability to fully understand. And maybe we’re not supposed to have a complete understanding of every chapter of our life that we go through. Maybe we’re never supposed to be able to turn to the back page and read the ending. Maybe the most important part for us to know is that perhaps no story is really worth telling if there aren’t a few dragons that need to be slayed along the way.

Besides, don’t we all just love a good mystery?!?!

~~~

Vatican City, August 24th, 2009

Hudson ~ One Week Old

{baby blues & tiny toes...}

2010-04-07T16:21:00.001-07:00

Because I just can't get enough of our little man...

{sweet new love...}

2010-03-17T08:24:00.001-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen...
Please allow me to introduce to you the newest member of Fifteen:Fifty-One Photography...

Hudson Daniel Smyth
Born March 11th, 2010

While I don't think that he'll be coming to shoots with me anytime soon...I definitely think that he'll be my go-to model for the next little while!!

{my southern cross...}

2010-03-09T08:33:00.001-08:00

When I was younger, I was just in love with the stars. I was in love with the stars the way most preteen girls are in love with Edward Cullen! My love for them was insatiable and undying! I would passionately memorize the number of light years from Earth to the Moon and better yet, I actually knew the distance of a light year (which has long been forgotten!)! I could tell you all about Cassiopeia and the make up of a horse head nebula. Astronomy took my breath away!

Now this is where my story takes a bit of a bizarre twist...

Around this same time is when my Dad got me my first Nintendo (we're talking the old school original Nintendo that came with Duck Hunt and Super Mario Bros.). One of the games that I got with it was the Legend of Zelda; a fantasy action game in which Princess Zelda (of course!) needs to be rescued. The hero of our adventure uses the Southern Cross, a constellation predominantly found in the Southern Hemisphere, to find his way to his beloved and this, my friends, becomes the story behind of how I officially felt the need to see this constellation for myself!

And that's how the story stayed for about the next twenty years; me and a constellation patiently waiting on the other side of the world for our great reunion!

Then, two years ago, my husband and I found ourselves being driven out to the middle of nowhere (also known as the Australian Outback) for dinner and a date with an astronomer and his telescopes. We had booked this night almost six months prior to our trip and even before we got to our destination, we knew it had been worth it. We had flown across the world to one of the most beautiful places on the planet and I was about to see the Southern Cross with my very own eyes.

We were, quite literally, in the middle of nowhere. We had driven nearly five hours from the small town of Alice Springs to our hotel and from there, were being driven to a small sand dune surrounded by nothing but red sand as far as the eye could see. We were facing Ayers Rock in one direction and the Olgas in the other. It was, for lack of a better word, spectacular.

As the sun went down, we were served champagne and hors d'oeuvres of crocodile and kangaroo (it's not so bad...kinda taste like chicken!) followed by a candlelit dinner by one of the regions finest chefs and sat under a sky that put a kink in my neck for an entire week! Without any city lights for hundreds of kilometres, the night sky lit up with shooting stars and constellations of the likes that I had never before, and have never again, witnessed in my life.

Then came the best part of all; as we were served dessert, an astronomer joined us with a few of his telescopes and gave us a guided tour of the night sky. From Saturn's rings to a Milky Way that made you want to surf in it, the sky became our playground and would become one of our best memories of our trip Down Under. And there was, of course, the Southern Cross...just as beautiful as I always imagined it would be.

I only took one picture from that night; it's fuzzy, out of focus and taken long before I ever picked up a camera professionally...but it's also one of my favourite pictures ever. As I was recently going through our vacation pictures, it stood out to me because when I look back to the day, when I first longed to look up at that sky, it never once occurred to me that I wouldn't see it. I had decided then and there, that one day I wouldn't just dream about it...I would experience it...I would live it.

That moment matters even more to me now than it did then because there is an entire world out there waiting for us...and with my son due any day now (he's actually four days late...I'm considering grounding him for his tardiness!), I want more than anything for him to not only dream about those things...but I want him to live them. I want him to know with utmost certainty that the world, with all of its wonder, is his for the taking.

Perhaps it won't be the Southern Cross or swimming with sea turtles at the Great Barrier Reef but whatever it is...I hope that we can help him get there because at this moment, when this picture was taken, while he may not have existed in our lives at the time, we longed for him the way my ten year old self longed for the night sky...

Get here soon little man...we can't wait to meet you!

(I forgot to watermark it...but it's still mine!!!)

{literary love affairs...}

2010-02-25T10:16:00.001-08:00

It's a cold rainy day in Ottawa today, so I've taken it as my cue to curl up and hibernate in the house. So I'm sitting in front of our fireplace with my Starbucks (not even Mother Nature can keep that part of my day from happening!!!) reading Where the Wild Things Are. The book was a gift to our son from one of my most favourite people in the entire world. Actually, a dear friend of mine recently hosted a baby shower for us in which everyone was asked to bring one of their favourite childhood books for our little boy. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing a gift that is to us!

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I need books like I need oxygen! Our house is covered with them! Our dining room, our living room, our nightstands, our dressers, our bathrooms, our family room bookcases...books are everywhere in our house and it's safe to say that I've had a pretty passionate relationship with each and everyone of them! I truly think that books are one of God's greatest gifts to humanity (you know, right up there with forgiveness, grace and peanut butter!); someone's life, imagination, musings and language, all beautiful bound and perfectly put on paper for the rest of us to get lost in. Few things in this world bring me quite as much joy as falling asleep at the end of the day to someone else's eloquent words.

"Oh how I love thee...let me count the ways..."

I don't like sharing my books though! I know that for many, this type of behaviour is nothing short of sacrilegious but for me, I simply get too attached to risk never seeing them again. My books have followed me through life at its very best and life at its very worst; during an especially difficult time in 2001, White Oleander became my only solace. I read Jane Austen for the first time as we travelled through Australia and Eat, Pray, Love is my ultimate comfort food. Basically, each of my books own a piece of my soul and the very thought of parting with them simply breaks my heart. So I just don't! Instead, they act as reminders of my countless literary love affairs that not only tell their own story...but a piece of mine as well.

I suppose it's needless to say that I do genuinely hope that our son develops the same love for the written word as his father and I have. When I consider how much books have shaped each of our lives, I have a really difficult time imagining a childhood without them. I'm still not entirely convinced that a life that hasn't yet experienced Harry Potter is a life fully lived!

That being said, thanks to our friends and family, our son is starting to give us a run for our money in terms of shelf space...and he's not even here yet!!!

Ours...

His...

Ours...

His...

So consider yourself warned little man...whether you like it or not...to every life a little Dr. Seuss must fall...!!!!

{the making of a nursery...}

2010-02-21T16:35:00.000-08:00

I was never one of those kids that had to clean their room when they were little. I never had to clean it because I never let it get messy. While most of my friends had their weekly chore of having to pick up all of their clothes off the floor, I was actually quite the opposite; I was almost obsessive about my room. Everything had its place and its home and any change to that assigned space ended up being quite upsetting to me.

We moved a lot when I was young and I think that having my room the same and "in order" was my way of maintaining a sense of stability regardless of where we lived. It never failed; each time we moved, I would stay up as long as necessary to make my room appear as though I had never slept anywhere else. I would paint, I would organize, I would put pictures on the wall; despite our change of address, I had a way of making it the only room that I had ever known.

Even now, the necessity has never really left me.

When Steve and I moved into our new house two years ago, the very first thing we did after having moved all of our stuff was to paint and set up our bedroom. We were experiencing three entire floors of change and we felt that, at the very least, sleeping in "familiar territory" would make the transition, albeit an exciting one, a bit easier on the soul.

So it seems needless to say that creating a room for our son became a process of great thought for the two of us. I've known couples who have had this space completely prepared five months into their pregnancy. We were not one of those couples! In fact, until last weekend, we hardly had any furniture in his room whatsoever. We actually spent months with the room completely empty so that we could try to get an image in our minds of our little man's space. It's not a big space but it's still his space...and we both believe that everyone needs a little corner to call their own!

At long last, the room is coming together. I'm sure that much like the rest of our house, it will continually be a work in progress, but at least it can now accommodate a human being if need be (which is a good thing given that we're less than two weeks away from d-day!)! With the help of all of our amazing friends and family (who have proven to already love our little boy dearly), we have begun to prepare for the "un-preparable"!!

~~~

My Father-in-law makes the most beautiful furniture and it's been a tradition in the Smyth family for each new "Li'l Smytty" to have his or her own Smyth crib. I was in love!

I'm convinced that bath toys alone are a great reason to have children!!!!

We heart Baby Gap and Aunt Jamie for her adorable taste!!!

The other beautiful creation by my Father-in-law...

It took us nearly five months to find a glider for his room! But it's seriously the most comfortable thing that I've ever sat in (and I'm sure that we'll spend many a night parked right there!!!)

The teddy bear (lovingly named Myron!) was a gift from Steve at 20 weeks...

We hope to see you soon Baby Boy!!
And we hope that the gorgeous paint colour we chose radiates many sleep filled nights!!
*wink wink*

{excuses, excuses...}

2010-02-16T11:24:00.000-08:00

Being eight and a half months pregnant makes me sleepy.

Being sleepy makes it hard to blog.

Blame my son!

{nocturnal happenings...}

2010-02-04T06:18:00.000-08:00

I had read not too long ago about how pregnant women are prone to some rather vivid and unusual dreams! Of all the many changes that women go through while experiencing the various stages of pregnancy…I found this one to be the most hilarious!! Mostly because, for as long as I could remember, I have always had pretty wild dreams to begin with so the thought of them exceeding their current state of descriptiveness was rather amusing to me!!!

For starters, I almost always remember my dreams when I wake up. I’ve never needed to write them down and wonder what the heck was going on in my head during the night because they are always as clear as day when I wake up in the morning. I also dream in colour and mostly in English (if I’ve spent a lot of time that day around my French counterparts…then I have French dreams…like the good little bilingual girl that I am!!)!

Sure enough though, I have found that in the last month or so, my dreams have become so vivid and ongoing that sometimes when I wake up in the morning, I actually have to take a minute to decipher what was real and what wasn’t! On top of that, I find that my sense of humour in the night has gone up a notch and now rest on borderline ridiculous! Apparently there is no end to the delirium that comes with pregnancy!!

Let’s take a couple of weeks ago for example…

For those of you who aren’t keeping up on your entertainment news; Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood recently got engaged over Christmas. This is rather exciting news for those of us living in the Nation’s Capital because Fisher plays for our NHL hockey team, the Ottawa Senators (though this was far less exciting news for many of Ottawa’s single girls as he was also one of our most adored bachelors!!). Since our town is usually plagued with nothing but political news, a celebrity wedding of sorts is always a wonderful distraction!

{I think this would also be an appropriate time to mention that our little man has lovingly been named ‘Lil Fisher while in utero and has since been betrothed to ‘Lil Underwood who’s due to be born in May!!}

But alas, I digress…

So anyways, I had a dream that Fisher and Underwood called me to ask if I would be willing to photograph their wedding (riiiiiiiiggghhtt!!) and I, always aiming to please, was more than willing to shift around some scheduling conflicts to accommodate them! We decided to meet up at their house to discuss some of the details and when I arrived, the lovely couple was eagerly sitting at their dining room table in all of their beautifulness just waiting to talk about their big day! But before I even got the chance to sit down, I noticed three little kittens scurry across their dining room floor! I immediately dropped everything (both literally and figuratively) to go over and play with them! I just sat there on their floor, like the five year old that I am, happily playing with their little bundles of fur and completely disregarding my reason for being there in the first place. Meanwhile, Fisher and Underwood continued to sit at their table patiently waiting for me to get all of this feline fun out of my system so we can get on with our meeting (they were so polite!).

THEN {I know…can you believe there is more to this horror story?!?!}…

Jason Spezza arrived at their house (a fellow teammate that got married in Ottawa last year) with tile samples for the kitchen renovation that he was overseeing at his Mother’s house! Now, the only thing that I love as much as baby animals is home improvements…so it wasn’t long before Spezza and I parked ourselves on the floor (with the kittens, of course) while we discussed the best colours and textures for his Mom’s new kitchen. Jason totally became my new BFF!! All the while, Fisher and Underwood just sat there, completely perplexed and wondering when I was going to start paying attention to them!! They were actually totally adorable considering all of the neglect that I was imposing on them! By the time my alarm went off, I had yet to utter a single word to the happy couple!!! Oh, the shame of it all…

I actually woke up from this dream laughing out loud! Being pregnant really does provide a certain amount of comic relief!

Just for the record though, to any potential brides and grooms out there who might be reading this…I swear that I’m not that easily distracted by kittens and kitchens!!!!!

{kenlan's closet...}

2010-01-28T12:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone has a past. Everyone has their stories, their journeys, their tales to tell and for some reason, whenever people find out my political past…their first inclination is to ask whether or not I miss it! I’ve always found this quite interesting because in many ways, working in politics was just like any other job but to the outside world, it clearly held a certain mystique that others wanted to know more about.

I got asked this question again last week and it compelled me to think long and hard about my time roaming the halls of Parliament Hill. “There’s got to be something that you miss about it” I told myself, even if it was just the amazing spaghetti that they served on Thursday afternoons in the cafeteria! But the honest truth is no…I don’t miss it. It was a great time in my life but when I made the choice to leave, I was more than ready to do so. And then just yesterday, it hit me…the one thing; The one thing that makes me wish, that for one day, I was back in that one place…the annual Christmas party!!!

Believe me, I get how ridiculous it sounds to say that the single thing you miss about an old career is the party, but it really was a great party! All of us who had spent months upon months running the halls in our most professional attire with blackberries in hand, chasing after rogue politicians while attending committee meetings and making endless travel plans, were finally being given the opportunity to cut loose and paint our political town red! And party we did! We partied until the cows came home…the sun came up…and until, eventually, we had to go right back to work with streamers still caught in our hair!! It really was a truly great party!!

There was a downside though and it’s the same down side that plagues every girl hoping to look her very best when entering a room (preferably with a handsome sidekick not too far off in the distance!); the dress! The perk of being the estrogen dominate ones of society is that we are entitled to a plethora of truly gorgeous creations to help make our already beautiful selves twinkle and shine that much more. The challenge here is that such beauty doesn’t come cheap!! The dress, the hair, the make-up, the accessories…before you know it, you could end up with a mortgage payment worth of an outfit. Lovely? Yes. Ideal? Not so much.

This is where one of my brilliant brides has stepped in to save the day…

My December bride, Suzanne, and her sister Josée, have come up with the ultimate business idea to help out those of us who want to look amazing for the occasion but still have cash left over for our morning Starbucks; Kenlan’s Closet is the long overdue answer to many of our fashion prayers!

In the same manner that men have long been able to rent tuxedos for their big event, these sisters have now come up with a way of providing women with the opportunity to rent designer dresses for their own star-studded evenings. And I think that this is, by far, the best.idea.ever. Kenlan’s Closet is offering the likes of Nicole Miller, Alexander McQueen, Badgley Mischka, Vera Wang and oh so many more designers that will make your heart beat faster and your Manolo Blahniks dance with joy!

So ladies, I highly encourage you to not only check out this amazing new business but I encourage you to take full advantage of it! Whether it is for a night out on the town with your girlfriends or to simply bake muffins in your kitchen… either way, Kenlan’s Closet will help you do it in style!

Check out their website here and read a fantastic article about them in the Ottawa Citizen here.

Happy Designer Dreams ;)

{suzanne & steve: wedding...}

2010-01-13T13:07:00.000-08:00

I seriously have some of the best colleagues in the world. Seriously. We are a small group of seven women and on countless occasions, we say that the best part of our job is the people. That being said, we also agree that the worst part of job can also be…the people! And it’s not because we don’t adore each other or respect each other, it’s because like any other relationship in life, they can be trying at times. When you spend eight hours a day, five days a week together; when you share in the ups and the downs of your day together; when you share in the personal and professional sides of life together…you’re bound to get on each other’s nerves from time to time! But it’s a small (and very worthwhile) price to pay for the privilege of being able to work with people that I can call my friends.

It’s actually the single part of leaving my job that I am anxious about. I’m a bit nervous about the loneliness that could come with self-employment and what life will be like without that built-in network of people to see and share with every day. That, most certainly, will come as an adjustment. And there have been times when I’ve wondered if this factor alone would potentially be too much for the extroverted, social butterfly in me.

And then I met Suzanne and Steve…

I met them on a busy Friday night at Starbucks to discuss their upcoming Christmas wedding. I had met them at a time when I was still trying to decide if photography was really the way to go for me. After all of the stability that I had created in my current situation, it often seemed down right crazy to put it all aside for something that may or may not end up working out. I was scared about life outside of an office, life as business owner, and life without the structure that I had so intimately come to know over the last decade. But then there I was with this lovely couple and a half hour led to an hour, which then melted into two hours and before I knew it, I realized I had long overstayed the amount of time I had promised my husband I would be gone! Once I did make it home though, I walked through the front door, poked my head around the corner to where he was comfortably parked on the couch (with my most apologetic eyes, of course!) and when I was asked how our meeting went…I just looked at him, smiled and said “I’m so doing this!”

To say that I like Suzanne and Steve would be such a ridiculous understatement! To say that I wish I could carry them around in my back pocket as my permanent coffee dates would be at least getting a wee bit closer to how much I adore them. Not only are they two of the most wonderful and kindest people that I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with, but frankly…I love them!!! And at the risk of making them sound like a puppy that followed me home…I want to keep them!!! Pleeeeeeasseee…

Not only do they radiate the very essence of love and happiness that I cherish so much in people, but from the moment I first met them, they began to teach me a very important lesson; a lesson that I needed to learn in order to move forward in my photography career; they taught me that relationships are not a by-product of a work place or a work structure…they are a product of the effort you put into them and the parts of yourself that you are willing to give them. They reminded me that it will be people like them that become my new colleagues and the new day-to-day elements of my life. It will be sharing in their wedding days and the time leading up to it that will become my new structure and if I’m really lucky, some of those relationships, just like some of the ones that I’ll be leaving behind at my old job, will long outlive our “designated” time together to become an entity all unto their own. And that is, quite possibly, the very best reward of all.

As I joined my husband back in car after having dropped off their final disc of images, I just looked at him and said “I’m sad!” And I really was. It was like saying a reluctant goodbye to a friend at the airport! I didn’t want their wedding to be over, I didn’t want their pictures to be done and I didn’t want to drive away from my new friends! But then I got a beautiful email the next day that said “let’s keep in touch, okay?”…and just like that, my heart felt better! I didn’t quite get to “keep” them, as in I don't get to see them every day…but I definitely felt like I had been granted shared custody!!

Suzanne and Steve, you’re amazing! You’re amazing in front of my camera and you’re exponentially more amazing in person. Thank you for not only letting me share in your beautiful wedding day, but thank you for being the very best way to end an incredible year. I miss you already!

Gen xoxo

To see more of their romantic winter wedding, click here to see their slideshow.

{so long...}

2010-01-11T09:11:00.000-08:00

About five and half years ago, I sat in my doctor's office crying about how I hadn't slept properly in three months...how I was always feeling sick to my stomach...how I had a constant headache...and most of all, how I was having difficulty breathing. I was convinced I was dying. After listening to my hysteria for ten minutes, he handed me a note giving me the next three weeks off of work and asked me to take part of that time to consider if the field of work that I was currently in was something that I wanted to pursue long-term. "If not" he said, "now would be a good time to make a change."

I was in politics at the time. I had been hired as a political assistant on Parliament Hill shortly after graduating from university and while I enjoyed the experience of it all, over the course of my three years, it had also managed to systematically suck the soul out of me. At the age of twenty-five, I been put on stress leave.

Ten days into my three week leave, I got offered a new job in the field of the fine arts doing marketing and communications. I quit my political job that same day, started my new job the following Monday and swore that my life would never experience that kind of imbalance ever again.

As strange as it may sound, that change of direction in my career was one of the most "divine" moments of my life. It was one of the best and most spontaneous decisions that I have ever made and no part of it had anything to do with prestige or money or even advancement. It had to do entirely with the pursuit of well-being and the proper alignment of my priorities...for what may have been the first time ever in my life. I had surrendered myself in that doctor's office and God had taken over the reigns from there. And He did an amazing job!

In five weeks, I'm going to be leaving that job to become a full-time Mother, a full-time photographer and hopefully, an even more genuine version of myself as once again, God takes the reigns in a whole new direction. And just like last time, I can feel God's presence in this transition as things slowly fall into place; the gentle hand guiding into new and unfamiliar territority but all the while, reminding me that it will all be okay. I've never been more scared and excited all at the same time!

This is why I didn't mind spending my entire New Year's Day in front of the computer putting together my "best of" slideshow for 2009; because it was - in essence - giving some well deserved reflection and acknowledgment to the first of many steps that would change the course of my life. I've always considered it somewhat cliché to do the whole "look back at the year...", but in this case, I felt as though I owed it to myself to take a moment (or an entire day!) to recognize how far I've come in this area of my life...which ultimately, has affected every other area of my life as well. It has also proven that God is far better in the driver's seat than I could ever be (even with the new GPS we got for Christmas!)!!

So 2009...I bid you farewell! 2010...let's kick some ass!

To view my "Best of 2009" slideshow, click here.

{the year that hope built...}

2009-12-31T10:50:00.000-08:00

“It was the best of times…it was the worst of times…” That’s how the saying goes, isn’t it?!?!

As the last hours of the year came to an end, I couldn't think of anything better than Charles Dickens’ own words to sum up my feelings about the last 365 days. It truly was the best of times and the worst of times. In all of my years, no other - thus far - has spread me thinner across the emotional spectrum of life than 2009. It was the good, the bad, the glorious, the grief and all things in between.

But all roads have led here; right where I’m supposed to be…and for that I am thankful.

I suppose that I could spend page after page reflecting on my experiences of the past year but the time has come and gone…and so must my feelings towards all that has happened. I’ve endured and I’ve enjoyed, and now I will close the book on a time that has taught me so much. I am walking away though with a sense of growth and a better understanding of just how precious the human spirit really is. Strength, courage, grace, forgiveness, love…all of these things create a world far more beautiful than I ever thought possible. And perhaps most precious of all is gratitude; the all encompassing sense of knowing that all you have is all you’ll ever really need. And so I leave 2009 feeling the need to share my own sense of gratitude; gratitude towards a year that let me come out victorious, towards people that made the fight worth fighting and for another 365 golden days that are going to change everything…

Thank you to Joanne, Jamie and Christina for being my biggest fans all year long; for perpetually encouraging me and for picking me up when the pieces have fallen down. It would have been a much harder road to go down had you not held my hands along the way…

Thank you to Papermoon Photography, Miv Photography, Studio 1948, Sammy Oxendahl, Cathy & David, Jen Berry and Tim Forbes for all of your advice, encouragement and outstanding inspiration. The world is a better place because you are all there to document it…

Thank you to Starbucks for giving me the energy to do two full-time jobs for eight months straight! I heart you...

Thank you to all of my amazing clients from 2009! Thank you for taking a chance on a basically unheard of photographer and for allowing me to share in your lives. I am only here because you trusted me to do so…

Thank you to my Steve…my husband, my best friend, my beloved. Thank you for believing in me enough for both of us. Thank you for standing by my side every step of the way. Thank you for wiping my tears away when things were hard and for sharing in my excitement when things were perfect. Thank you for buying me a cell phone so I would no longer be stranded and thank you for holding my hair back when I threw up all summer (you can take that up with your son in a couple of months!!)!! Thank you for choosing me and most of all…thank you for loving me…

(Thank you to Tim Forbes for capturing my husband in all of his amazing handsome-ness!)

And thank you to a God unlike any other. Thank you for bestowing on me the countless blessings that fill my days…blessings far beyond what I deserve. Thank you for giving me a gift and for the courage to pursue it. Thank you for giving me your guidance, your purpose and your presence. Thank you for helping me find my way back to you…

May all of you celebrate the most wonderful of new years and may you let hope and love be your guide for 2010…

With love,
Gen xoxo

p.s. To view my "Best of 2009" slideshow, click here.

{andrea & david: maternity...}

2009-12-30T09:44:00.000-08:00

It was a warm July morning the day that I found out that I was pregnant. I had been lying awake in bed most of the night contemplating what it would mean if two lines showed up instead of one. Of course, I knew what it would “technically” mean, but what about everything else? It’s sort of a strange feeling having to anticipate results. There was most certainly excitement at the idea, but it also came with its share of anxiety and fear. Would we have enough? Enough time…enough love…enough money…enough patience…??

Steve was downstairs in the dining room having breakfast with his parents. I had asked him to come up to our room with me for a minute and being the somewhat stubborn Gemini that he can be, he kept insisting that I wait. I finally had to tell him that I broke my four day old brand new Nikon D300 in order to get his attention and before I knew it, he was upstairs before I was even able to finish my sentence! It was well worth the little white lie!

That was six months ago.

Now, we are a mere nine weeks away from the arrival of our son and we have had plenty more time to wrap our minds around the idea of raising a child. It seems a bit less scary now but I’m sure that if you ask us in eight weeks, the blood will have little or no problems draining from our faces! I’ve had many months to ask myself how one even remotely prepares them selves for such a life changing event and even now…I simply draw a blank!

There is the obvious method of preparation however, and that is spending time with other parents. That being said though, this strategy has also compelled me to climb up the side of one wall and straight down the other at times. People have some pretty strong opinions about parenthood and pregnancy, which has left us sighing reluctantly on more than one occasion; the perfect stroller, optimal maternity leave, cloth versus disposable diapers, appropriate weight gain and let’s not forget the distinctive eyes of judgment as you stand in line at Starbucks…all of this can leave you wishing that you had never shared the news to begin with!

But there has been solace among this flurry of advice and guidance, and one of those most precious moments came when I had the opportunity to photograph Andrea and David…a couple that I not only smile at the very thought of but a couple that was also expecting their first baby just a couple of months before us.

We headed out to a small patch of land alongside the deserted Canadian Forces base to shoot their maternity session and as the cold winter air started to blow in, we talked about the joys (and stretching!) of being pregnant, the anticipations of being a parent and the excitement of trying to take it all in. David very politely helped the two of us get around as we lugged our bellies through the tall grass and the unstable ground beneath us…who ever said that chivalry was dead?!?!

Our time together was lovely; the light, the scenery, the conversation and most of all, the complete and total adoration between this couple as they patiently waited to meet their baby for the first time.

I left not only having felt privileged at being able to capture this time for them but I also left with a reminder of why this is all so special; it’s not about finding the perfect stroller or the textbook rules of “what to expect”…it’s about holding that other person’s hand and knowing that this experience is something that only the two of you will ever share in this way. While others may offer their advice and participate in the excitement…only the two of you will stand in that wide open space with the knowledge of just how precious your world is about to change.

And that alone is enough…

All my love to you, Andrea and David…you’re going to be remarkable parents!

{dennis & naomi: engagement...}

2009-12-15T15:10:00.001-08:00

Have you ever noticed how the longer you live in a city, the less you tend to know about it?!?! Perhaps this is an oversight that only I make but I certainly have a tendency to take my home town for granted and overlook all the amazing attractions that I pass by every day.

I grew up in London, Ontario...a city, which as far as I'm concerned, is completely charming. When it came time to choose a university, I decided to move to Ottawa...an equally endearing place. Like most teenagers, I longed to get away from the only place that I had ever really known and to see the world through my new independent eyes. And in doing so, I fell love. I fell in love with both a cute French boy and with this amazing city! Not surprising, the French boy didn't last...but my love affair with Ottawa certainly did!

The thing is though that since I find myself fully emerged in Ottawa life every day, I never fully get around to appreciating its history and heritage. I never do take the tour of Parliament or hop on the double decker bus to make a visit to the RCMP stables. "One day", we always say, as countless visitors come through our city every year and learn more about our home than we likely do. Sad, I know!

With much of our family now living out of town, it has given us the opportunity to make room for being a tourist in our own city and I have to say...it has made the love affair that much better. Finding out that Ottawa was once considered the most dangerous city in North America or learning about the amazing efforts that went into building the Rideau Canal is almost like bringing home the rebel on a motorcycle that you know your parents won't like!!!

When Naomi and Dennis first contacted me about doing their engagement pictures, they were clear that they wanted it to not only be about them but they wanted it to be an ode to our lovely city as well. I, of course, was thrilled. "My kind of couple" I thought...

So off we went...from the National Gallery of Canada to the Library of Parliament, we made our way through the landmarks that define our city and in many ways, defined them as couple...

~~~

The beautiful National Gallery of Canada...

Major's Hill Park...

Our recently completed and beautifully restored Library of Parliament...

And lest we forget the beautiful couple...

Thanks so much guys for reminding me why I choose to call this glorious place home...I really never do getting tired of setting my eyes on her!

{tugger...}

2009-12-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the story starts like this…

First there was a girl (me!).
Girl moved to Ottawa to go to University.
Girl decided to adopt a Cat to keep her company in the big city.
Five years later, Girl also adopted a super cute Boyfriend.
It seemed that Cat and Boyfriend didn’t appear to get along very well.
Cat would spend countless nocturnal hours strategically pouncing on Boyfriend’s groin.
(Did I mention that Cat was 26lbs.?!?!).
Boyfriend would attempt to terrorize Cat with spray bottle.
(Did I also mention that Cat had a very unusual affinity for water?!?!).
Cat chewed a hole through said spray bottle when Boyfriend accidently left it on night table.
Cat : 1 – Boyfriend : 0
A year goes by.
Domestic tensions increase between Cat and Boyfriend.
Things get ugly.
A litre of chocolate milk becomes an innocent bystander.
Girl gets fed up.
Someone’s got to go.
Cat gets one way plane ticket to B.C.
Boyfriend can stay.
Boyfriend is a better cook!

Now fast forward four years! Boyfriend becomes husband (he’s just that good in the kitchen!!) and Cat is still happily chasing eagles in B.C. All was well on the home front!! But I’m not going to lie…I missed having pets around the house, even if they were 26lbs pounds of insanity that may or may not have needed psychological intervention at some point in time!

I’ve always grown up with pets around the house and I truly believe that they add a certain magic to a family that can’t be attained any other way. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in the country where animals had a purpose and never, ever slept on the bed! Trying to convince my husband to get a pet that would become an actual member of the family was one of the bigger challenges in our marriage! But after four years of living feline free, my husband promised me that when we bought a house, we could get adopt a kitten and once again hear the pitter patter of little paws. He did have one condition…they couldn’t sleep on the bed!!!!

So ten weeks after having moved into our new house and a mere ten hours after returning from our month long trip to Australia, Steve and I roamed the halls of our local humane society looking for the perfect furry friend to bring into our home. Sure enough, mere minutes into our search, there he was…all quiet and sad looking in the back of his cage. His name was Mouse – a completely ridiculous name for a cat if you ask me – three months old and had been at the humane society for six weeks already after having been found abandoned on the street. The staff said no one wanted him because he was so much bigger than the other kittens. “Nonsense” we said…wrap him up!

And just like that…two became three! We strongly believed that our first job as “kitty parents” was to spare our newest addition the agony of having to endure a life with the name Mouse. Really…all the other cats would tease him!! But we didn’t want to completely disregard his early days in the big bad world, so we agreed on naming him Tugger Mouse Smyth…an honourable compromise for a street kitty, we thought!

Not wanting him to be too overwhelmed with the transition from cage to three story house, we kept him within the boundaries of our bedroom for the first couple of days. The little guy stayed hovered around our ankles for every breathing moment that we were in that room and imagine what happened when it came time to turn the lights out?!?! You guessed it…as soon as Tugger let out one pathetic little cry, Steve’s one little kitty condition when right out the window!! He was soon curled up on our pillows, right between our heads and proceeded to purr the night away. Literally. For six hours straight. Even after our thirty-seven hour trip home from Australia, neither one of us managed to sleep a wink that night! “Welcome to parenthood” we were told!!

Not surprisingly, Tugger has slept on our bed every single night since; waking me up with the same gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) head butts when the alarm goes off in the morning and receiving the same scratch behind the ear from Steve as he attempts to make the bed each day. And so it goes with the fur ball we love so much!

Tugger knows that his world is about to be rocked! He knows that he won’t be the only child for much longer! He’ll sit on my lap, with his head perched on my belly and give me a look of complete disgust regarding the situation at hand! “Come on…you know we’d be better off just the three of us” he’d say…if he were only given the chance!!

No doubt about it, Tugger really is one of our first great loves as a couple! It’s easy to say that our family is about to begin with the birth of our son but truth be told, our family began the moment we brought that little three pound ball of fur into our home! With every one of his little adventures – from creating a hammock out of my in-laws box spring to swallowing a Christmas ribbon – Tugger has taught us the art of patience, flexibility and how to tie a Christmas tree to the wall…all qualities that I’m sure our son will thank us for later!

So my little Tugboat, please rest assured…you may not be our only child for much longer…but you will forever be our first child! And we wouldn’t have it any other way!!

{authentic success...}

2009-12-02T17:46:00.001-08:00

Not every day is easy. Not every day comes with the same inspiration and certainty of self that other days do. Not every day comes with equal amounts of confidence to trudge through the doubt; the sometimes nagging struggle between worldly success and its authentic counterpart. But, every day does come with the knowledge that where there is a gift...there is a Giver. And I was humbly reminded of both today when I read the following essay by Sarah Ban Breathnach...

~~~

Authentic success is different for each of us. No single definition fits all because we come in all sizes. One autumn afternoon years ago, while wandering through an abandoned cemetery, I discovered a wonderful definition of authentic success inscribed on the headstone of a woman who died in 1820: "The only pain she ever caused was when she left us."

Authentic success is having time enough to pursue personal pursuits that bring you pleasure, time enough to care for your home, tend your garden, nurture your soul. Authentic success is never having to tell yourself or those you love, "maybe next year." Authentic success is knowing that if today were your last day on earth, you could leave without regret. Authentic success is feeling focused and serene when you work, not fragmented. It's knowing that you've done the best that you possibly can, no matter what the circumstances you faced; it's knowing in your soul that the best you can is all you can do, and that the best you can do is always enough.

Authentic success is accepting your limitations, making peace with your past, and reveling in your passions so that your future may unfold according to a Divine Plan. It's discovering and calling forth your gifts and offering them to the world to help heal its ravaged heart. It's making a difference in other lives and believing that if you can do that for just one person each day, through a smile, a shared laugh, a caress, a kind word, or a helping hand, blessed are you among women.

Authentic success is not just money in the bank but a contented heart and peace of mind. It's earning what you feel you deserve for the work you do and knowing that you're worth it. Authentic success is paying your bills with ease, taking care of all your needs and the needs of those you love, indulging some wants, and having enough left over to save and share. Authentic success is not about accumulating but letting go, because all you have is all you truly need. Authentic success is feeling good about who you are, appreciating where you've been, celebrating your achievements, and honoring the distance you've already come. Authentic success is reaching the point where being is as important doing. It's the steady pursuit of a dream. It's realizing that no matter how much time it takes for a dream to come true in the physical world, no day is ever wasted. It's valuing inner, as well as outer, labor - both your own and others'. It's elevating labor to a craft and craft to an art by bestowing Love on every task you undertake.

Authentic success is knowing how simply abundant your life is exactly as it is today. Authentic success is being so grateful for the many blessings bestowed on you and yours that you can share your portion with others.

Authentic success is living each day with a heart overflowing.

~~~

I will forever be grateful to God for the presence of the written word in my life...

{dan & cynthia: wedding...}

2009-11-25T12:04:00.000-08:00

Halloween has always been my favourite holiday of the year!

When I was a little girl, my Mom and I would decorate our house with candles and spider webs and my Mom would help me put together a fantastic costume that was comfortable enough to endure for the entire day while still being warm enough to last through the brisk October nights that we often had in Ontario.

My friends and I would head out with a pillow case in hand and return home with chilled fingers and an excessive belly ache from too much snacking along the way! Unlike the country kids who had a kilometer between each house, I lived in a townhouse division which meant that we always got a far better return on our investment!!!

One year when I was in high school, we lived in this beautiful heritage home in the south end of London; an area of town that served as the perfect backdrop for my favourite spooky holiday! My Mom dressed up like a scarecrow, put a carved pumpkin on her head and sat perfectly still on our front porch while our cat’s recent litter of six week old black kittens sat perfectly perched on our stairwell just inside our door. My Mom placed our bowl of candy on her lap and waited patiently for the neighborhood kids to come and help themselves. As the night went on, I proceeded to spend hours being highly entertained as my Mother very strategically “made her move” depending on whether it was a young excited Halloween rookie or an over ambitious teenager hoping to run off with all the goods! It was, by far, one of my favourite Halloween memories!

This past Halloween was my first time spending it away from the house and the dressed up munchkins that roamed the streets. This year, I spent it photographing Dan and Cynthia’s gorgeously masked wedding in Rockland. As their guests began to fill the reception hall sporting their elaborately decorated Venetian masks, the room equally began to fill with a sense of mystery and magic that only Dan and Cynthia could create. From the candy bar of delicious treats to Grandpa wearing his proudest face…this too, has gone down as one of my favourite Halloween memories…

The lady of the evening...

The groom and his little princess...

Creative problem solving for a slight costume malfunction!!

I totally wish that it was socially acceptable to wear these every day!!!

Shake it!!!!

Click here to see the rest of Dan & Cynthia's romantically mysterious night...

{same time next year...}

2009-11-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

I think that few things in this world are quite as unique as families; the way that they build over time and create generation upon generation of legacies. It’s actually really amazing to trace back the roots of any family and see just how far back they go and the stories that have been told along the way.

When I was growing up, all of our family on my Mom’s side would go to our cottage in the Muskokas at least once a summer and every year we would gather at the same spot along the lake and take a family picture. It’s priceless to look at how much the pictures have changed over the years and who has joined us along the way; boyfriends and girlfriends, various furry friends, neighbors. Even the lake itself has changed in its own way. But time and time again, we do our very best to capture a tiny piece of the years that seem to pass us by far too quickly.

Family dynamics are so amazing to photograph and now that I’m about to be starting my own family, I have an even better appreciation for them. Having generations come together to record a certain time in their life is such a special thing to do and frankly, more of us should be doing it because before you know it, the landscape of our family portraits begin to evolve; grandparents get older, babies are born, in-laws are inherited, pets are adopted…and things change.

Marie-Josée and I started planning her family’s photo session way back in the summer, long before the cool Ottawa air started to roll into town. We were armed with spreadsheets and flow charts in hopes that I could keep all of the relatives straight but in the end, the youngest generation and the piles of crisp autumn leaves prevailed…and we had a blast!

My words of wisdom after my morning with this dear family…? Take the time to record the evolution of your family because it is forever going to change from one year to the next. As weddings and birthdays and graduations continue to occur…you’ll be glad that you did.

Oh…and when it comes to children…forget the spreadsheets! Just click your camera like a madman and hope for the best!!!

{just because...}

2009-11-12T17:28:00.000-08:00

...this picture makes me smile that much!

{hopeful remembrance...}

2009-11-10T12:14:00.001-08:00

This past summer I was asked to do a photo shoot with one of my most favourite families in the entire world. I’ve had to keep the pictures under wraps this entire time because they were to be a gift to a brave pilot heading off to Afghanistan for nine months as a reminder of the beautiful faces that will be patiently awaiting his return. With Remembrance Day being tomorrow, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to finally post them.

When I was in public school, they used to gather all of us into the gymnasium and we’d watch black and white videos of war while reciting In Flanders Fields. I can’t say that I understood much about war back then and in all honesty, I can’t say that I understand a whole lot about it now either.

A few summers ago, the Canadian War Museum opened here in Ottawa and for the official opening, Ottawa hosted a huge parade for all of our military men and women. I feel as though I learned more history during the two hours of watching that parade go by then I did during years of taking history classes because instead of reading books or watching videos, I watched people; I watched the real life faces of those who have been there and come back to the tell the real stories. I watched little kids on the side of the road holding signs of support for their grandfather who was walking by in uniform. I watched as thousands of people cheered and clapped for victories that have already been won and for others that are still being fought to this day.

And I cried.

I sat on a little patch of grass in downtown Ottawa during a warm, sunny, summer day…and I cried. Because what else is there to do when you can finally put a face to the stories? What is there left to do but cry when you see that war isn’t just stories told at school assemblies once a year?

It’s my brother-in-law that has now left for Afghanistan. He’s flying our soldiers around in helicopters because they keep getting blown up in road side bombs. So this year, not only will we spend tomorrow remembering but we’ll also spend tomorrow being hopeful; being hopeful that this is the only Christmas we’ll have to spend without him; being hopeful for his return next July and being hopeful that these beautiful faces won’t have to spend a moment longer than they have to without the brave man in their life…

{keeping it real...}

2009-11-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

"People often say that motivation doesn't last.

Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."

- Zig Ziglar

Jasmine Star wrote this on her facebook page the other day and I actually found myself laughing about loud because it couldn’t be more true! Motivation, regardless of how much you love your work, can be really, really hard sometimes.

I think that a lot of people (myself included at times) assume that once you begin pursuing your passion and your dreams…that the motivation just “happens”; that the energy and creativity just effortlessly appears and radiates its way through your fingertips. I felt relieved to find out that I wasn’t the only one to discover that this is a complete and blatant lie!

Motivation, in my humble opinion, is one of the great gifts of life! Nothing makes me feel more alive than being truly motivated and when I get going with the proper motivation, there is really no stopping me {why else does one train for a marathon four times?!?!}. But even with great passions, there is the tedious, there is the discouragement and there is downright forgetting how and why you got here in the first place!! I think that in the beginning it can be even harder and at times, it can altogether suck; the learning curve can be very steep, the frustrations can be high and seeds of doubt seem to plant themselves a little bit easier. But then again, if it was easy, everyone would do it!

There were a couple of months during this past year when I felt like I was in the midst of the perfect storm; when all the things that could be deemed a challenge appeared all at once and left me feeling very depleted. I even remember asking Steve one night as I was getting ready for bed if he thought God was trying to see how easily I spooked?!?! You know, just testing me out to see if I was a flight risk! And I’ll admit that it did cross my mind; the idea of just bailing on this whole thing, just throwing in the towel and saying “the hell with it! Whose bright idea was this anyway?!?!” But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let something that made me so happy slip between my fingers because I was tired of the mistakes and tired of the excessive amount of learning.

I guess my point of this rather long winded blog is to remind myself {and anyone else that needs it!} that the challenge isn’t going to be just taking pictures or learning about business or explaining the art of copyrights. Part of the challenge is keeping going in the midst of those things and again, if it were easy, then everyone would do it. But it’s not. Some days it comes easier than others but in the end, it’s always worthwhile…because our dreams are always worthwhile.

And since photo blogs are actually better with a photo…here is one of the extremely beautiful Andrea that I took this past weekend for her maternity shoot. When I loaded the memory card on to my computer, I was so thrilled with the results and instantaneously fell in love with this one…that smile proved to be great motivation!

More of this lovely lady to come soon...

{all hallow's eve...}

2009-11-04T07:12:00.000-08:00

So it turns out that Halloween isn’t just for little ghosts and goblins! It’s also for lovely, mysterious, masked brides who also have a trick or two of their own up their sleeves!

Stay tuned in the weeks to come for more of Cynthia and Dan’s Halloween Wedding!

{the eloquence of the everyday...}

2009-10-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

“Hi…I’m Gabor!”

That’s how it happened. That’s how one of Canada’s great photographers introduced himself to me! He just walked up to the table that I was sitting at…reached his hand out and said “Hi…I’m Gabor!”

So humble. So modest. So friendly.

Gabor Szilasi, who has contributed over fifty years of photographic work, once said:

“Everything is constantly changing around us: what my camera captures at this moment is already of the past. That is why it is important to me to record the world as I see it today through photography. I am not interested in the past or the future: I am interested in the present. Through the photographic image, I can directly record the signs of the past and the future as they appear in this moment.”

Ahhh, a photographer after my own heart!

As I watched the media follow him around as he gave a guided tour of his new exhibit at the Canadian Museum of Contemporary Photography, I couldn’t help wonder what it must be like to have photography be your entire life’s work…to walk into an exhibition space one day and see 124 of your images outline the very essence of your career?

As a largely self-taught photographer himself, I wanted nothing more than to just steal him away and ask “how did you do it? Tell me your secret!” But I didn’t. I just watched as our invited guests stood around him completely fascinated as he passionately described the context behind some of his most well-known images and the quiet secrets behind some of his never before seen images.

After all this time, you can tell there is still quite the intimate love affair occurring between him and his camera!

I’ll admit, I was reluctant to leave the room and head back to my every day life…I mean, what fun is that when you can just stand next to brilliant photographers and hope to obtain their knowledge by osmosis?!?! That’s far more appealing if you ask me!

But at long last, everyone has to return from Neverland eventually! So sad, I know! But to keep the excitement and appreciation going, I encourage all of you to check out the amazing exhibition The Eloquence of the Everyday: Gabor Szilasi, on view at the Canadian Museum of Contemporary Photography from 9 October 2009 until 17 January 2010.

Anyone who just reaches out and says “Hi…I’m Gabor” certainly deserves our support!

{cynthia & dan: engagement...}

2009-10-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

My husband proposed to me on a Wednesday! This came as a surprise to many people because apparently, nobody gets engaged on a Wednesday! Who knew?!?! It was perfect though because my husband is in no way conventional. In fact, he proposed at our apartment one day after work with flowers and dinner and it couldn’t have been more romantic…or more us.

Being engaged was such a fun time for us because for the thirteen months leading up to our wedding, we got to not only plan a really fun party, but we got to take the time to really decide what kind of style and ceremony best defines us as a couple. It’s not always as easy at it sounds! Being engaged is really the beginning of an amazing story…an amazing time in a couple’s life where they start being one even before the big day officially declares it. I think that’s why I love doing engagement pictures so much…they always tell so much about the couple getting married and their story up until that point!

Dan and Cynthia have the most incredible story of survival, commitment and devotion. It’s also a story best told by them. They’ve endured more in their time together than most of us will have to endure in a lifetime together and all the while…they do nothing but smile! It really is just the best love story!

They are getting married this coming weekend on Halloween night and I am honoured to be able to be there to capture the evening. Before the big party though, there is of course, the engagement! Cynthia works with animals all day long and wanted to have their pictures taken with some of her furry friends!

So without further ado…please meet Cynthia and Dan…and King, the oh so photogenic Clydesdale!

{trailing behind...}

2009-10-20T14:57:00.001-07:00

Okay...I'm am BEYOND behind on my blogging! Where are the handcuffs?!?! But at least I'm not behind because I'm being a slacker! I am growing a tiny little boy after all!!

Aside from that though, I'm pleased to say that I've been rocking out with camera busy-ness lately and it's kept me happily bouncing from one photo shoot to another with a bunch of consultations in between! Hello gorgeous winter weddings!!!

So bear with me a bit longer if you can as I wrap up a few things before I find my back on the blogging track! Here's a little bit of what is yet to come...

Yeah...if only all days included gorgeous couples and gorgeous Clydesdales!

{baby steps...}

2009-10-09T12:09:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up, I certainly didn’t always know that I wanted to have children. So many of the girls that I went to high school with had very long term plans that always included getting married and having a family. This often made me feel like I was missing the “maternal gene” because at sixteen, the thought of having children seemed like a lifetime away and at that time (and teenagers are notorious for lack of foresight!), I didn’t necessarily want to have children. I had a hard enough time taking care of myself none the less an entire other human being. I think that most of my family members wouldn’t hesitate to say that, while I may not have thought so at the time, I most definitely had plans for a family. What they never seemed to realize though was that liking children and wanting children are too very different things.

It really wasn’t until I met my husband that I started to feel like I might want a family of my own. There was just something about falling so desperately in love that made me want even more of him…another piece of him to bring into and share with the world. It was always really important to us though, as a couple, to ensure that we enjoyed some time together, being married, before we handed our lives over to a whole new responsibility. We wanted to travel, to have careers, to build roots, to get to know each other and get to know ourselves better. We wanted to get better at being married before we made the leap towards being parents.

So now we’ve done it! We’ve spent four years enjoying a life completely indulgent in each other; we’ve travelled to Hawaii, Australia and Europe. We’ve built our house. We’ve accepted jobs and turned down jobs. We’ve gotten exponentially better at being a team. And yesterday afternoon, we found out that we’re going to have a son!

In approximately four and half months, our little man is going to enter the world and nothing will ever be the same again! We will no longer just be “Gen and Steve” or “husband and wife” anymore…we will be parents and our identities will forever be intertwined in this little baby boy. And I couldn’t be more excited about it!

Of course, the thought did cross my mind that even now, after thirty years, men are still a total and complete mystery to me…so how the heck am I ever going to raise one?!?! But on the other hand, perhaps I just need to accept that it simply may be my lot in life to be surrounded by handsome men!!!

{brent & caroline...}

2009-10-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time that I ever photographed a wedding how intimidated I felt by the intimacy of it all. I remember feeling as though I should be looking away and not pointing my camera at all of the very private and personal moments that were taking place; the smiles, the tears, the eternal gazes. Even while going through the pictures afterwards, I remember feeling somewhat as though I just intruded on something that I shouldn’t have been privy to, despite my invitation to be front and center during the entire moment.

I have to come to cherish these moments because that’s essentially what it is; a trusted invitation to bear witness to it all and to somehow capture the fleeting moments that pass us by all too quickly.

Anytime I leave a wedding, I realize just how much there is to learn about someone because of that single day; their style, their faith, their devotion, their relationships, their organizational skills!! So much gets said about a couple besides the words that are actually being spoken and frankly, it’s a gift to be there. It’s entirely a blessing to be there during any course of these moments; the engagement, the wedding, the anticipation of a child, the family pictures long after its grown or even the celebration of individuality between a single person and my camera. What a blessing it all is!

Below are some images of my latest bride…my newest friend…and one of my more recent blessings. I learned a lot over the course of preparing for Caroline and Brent’s wedding and most of all, I learned that it’s all the moments in between that are the most precious; it was sitting with her over lunch and discovering about her life outside of her wedding; it was giving her a hug outside of the church because I was so happy for my new friend’s amazing day; it was patiently waiting for her to come home from her honeymoon, not so I could give her all of her pictures, but so I could see the smile on her face from having spent two weeks relishing in her new life. It’s about being so wildly excited for her future and all that there is to come…and all because she needed a wedding photographer!

~~~

The lovely Caroline getting ready on her big day...

Brent and his men having a last single guy's drink...

Oh, the anticipation...

This is Caroline's parent's property where her and both of her sisters celebrated their wedding. It was a photographer's dream!

Ahh...yeah! Too cute for words!

To see Brent and Caroline's slideshow, click here.

{humanitarianism through art...}

2009-09-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

For anyone in or around Ottawa this coming weekend, be sure to drop by La Petite Mort Gallery on Cumberland for an exhibit and fundraiser to support Doctors Without Borders Canada.

In collaboration with the Ottawa Month of Photography, forty area photographers (yours truly included!) have each donated one of their photographs in honour of the cause. The Vernissage is being held on Friday, September 25th, 2009 from 7pm until 10pm and runs right through the weekend until 6pm on Sunday, September 27th, 2009.

This image from our recent trip to Italy was selected to make its exhibition debut…so bring good cheer and deep pockets ;)

{joydrop...}

2009-09-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

I remember this one day about four or five years ago when I was running along the canal. It was September sometime and the sun was just going down leaving the most beautiful orange glow over the water. It was my favourite time of day and my favourite time of year to run. I like to pray a lot when I run. While I send dozens of thank yous a day to the heavens, I can be a bit long-winded when I pray! I like to be very precise in my prayers {I have this on-going paranoia about asking God to open up my heart and then being subjected to open heart surgery one day!!! So I just like to be clear!} and during my runs is the perfect opportunity to do so. On this one particular day, I remember praying the same prayer that I had prayed time and time again; “Please God, help to find what it is that I’m supposed to be doing with my life”

I’ve spent the better part of my adult life in the midst of some pretty incredible experiences. I’d been hired right out of university to work on Parliament Hill and then three years later, I began my career in the fine arts. Even in my teens, I seldom had an “ordinary” job. I’ve been extremely fortunate in my professional life and have been exceptionally grateful for all of the rather unexpected turns that it may have taken along the way. But even then, I never sensed that any of those things fulfilled my long-term purpose…they weren’t what I was supposed to be doing. At least not in a capacity that felt divinely inspired. I constantly longed to be involved in something that enabled me the freedom that I desired while still contributing in a way that was significant and creative…and whatever it was…I knew that it was out there somewhere. I just didn’t know what it was.

This is the very answer to that prayer that I’ve spent so many years perfecting; This place, this art, this craft, this venture, this leap of faith into a world that I’ve never been before is what I’ve always longed for. And it’s been amazing! As each day unfolds into the next, I am reminded that where there is a gift…there is a Giver.

Like all things though, they come with their challenges. Two things that have come to mind lately when I consider the challenges of pursuing this dream have been the art of comparison and wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing! Allow me to address the wolves first; I once read that in the earliest stages of conception of any dream, you should be very careful whom you choose to share it with because sadly, more often than not, it won’t be received with the support that you were hoping for. In my case, it was very well received and the support was overwhelming…but it certainly didn’t come from the people that I thought it would. In fact, in many ways, it came from some of the least expected sources. As the months rolled on, some of the people who were happy to share their photographic knowledge and expertise with me slowly distanced them selves to the point that what used to be a shared passion for a particular craft became two strangers passing each other on the street. I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t prepared for the conditional support that comes with exceeding someone else’s expectations and I certainly wasn’t prepared for the fact that some people will not only be waiting with baited breath for you to fail, but they will actually wish it upon you. And that makes me sad…

The other challenge I often face is the inclination to compare myself to other photographers. It’s a very fine line between inspiration and slowly chipping away at your self-esteem through the brilliance of someone else! I’ll be the first to admit that comparison can be a deadly addiction and it can, if you’re not careful, suck the life right out of your dreams. I have a short yet mighty list of photographers that I like to follow and let me tell you…they are AMAZING! Their work blows me away, their creativity makes my heart skip a beat and their constant ability to produce incredible photographs day after day leaves me mesmerized. Depending on the day though, it can also leave me feeling like I’ll never quite get “there” {wherever “there” might be!}. The irony if it all though is that even if and when I do reach that place of higher potential…I still won’t be them…because I can only be me.

So as I’ve been going through my week feeling the weight of these challenges a bit more than usual, I’ve been trying hard to remember that even the greatest of blessings have their bad days…that it isn’t always the perfect light or the ideal location or the string of glorious details. Some days are just going to be better than others. C’est la vie!

I’ve been asked to submit one of my photographs for an art exhibit / charity auction next week at La Petite Mort Gallery to support Doctors Without Borders. I feel quite flattered despite my anxiety at seeing if my print actually sells or not!!! But as I was going through my work from this year to try to select one piece, I came across this picture that I took of the beautiful Miss Olivia back in March...

Olivia and Josh were my very first “clients” and this was actually the very first photo that I took of that session. And I love it! I love it with every fiber of my being! I can remember hardly sleeping at all the night before and then singing through the entire four hour drive to Toronto to meet them at the Distillery. It was such an amazing weekend {with approximately three Starbucks runs in between to keep the motors running!!!}! Later that day I shot this picture of one of the most beautiful and most important people in my life...

Both of these pictures are still two of my favourite of the literally thousands that I’ve taken over the past eight months. I’ve decided that I need to print them and post them prominently over my desk as a reminder of why I do this; it’s not so that I can prove something to the people who think that I can’t do it and it’s not so that I can be like someone else…but it’s so that I can spend every day living and remembering that “I’m not beautiful like you. I’m beautiful like me.” ~ Joydrop

{as promised...}

2009-09-14T15:53:00.001-07:00

During our first evening in Florence, the night before our fourth anniversary, we walked to the top of Piazzale Michaelangelo to watch the sunset (as per our concierge's recommendation). As we got part way to the top of our final destination, I noticed that someone had spray painted on the side of the wall "take good care of my heart...because I've left it with you". I simply had to stop and stare at it because it really seemed to sum up everything I was feeling at that very moment; about my husband...about our trip...about our evening...about life in general. It's as though it was spray painted there just for me!

So without further ado, and as promised many weeks ago, here are some of my favourite memories of our beautiful trip to Italy...

~~~

Rome, from Capitoline Hill

The incredible Trevi Fountain...

The Pantheon...

Ruins from the Roman Forum...

My favourite part of Italy; the cobblestone alleyways...

St. Peter's Square, Vatican City...

St. Peter's Basilica...

Vatican City

The lovely Florence...

To see some more of our beautiful trip, click here.

{courtney & josh: wedding...}

2009-09-08T15:48:00.001-07:00

Lovely! That's exactly how everything about Josh and Courtney's wedding turn out...lovely! From the amazing weather to the beautiful venue, from the super fun wedding party to the devastatingly striking couple...everything just oozed loveliness!

I always love seeing how couples like their wedding day to play out. They are all so unique and lend various moods to the day. Josh and Courtney opted to see each other before hand and to spend a few hours with the wedding party before their sunset ceremony in the Vista Room at Lago Restaurant. I have to say...it rocked! We soaked up the sun in the Arboretum before heading for dinner (which, might I add, may have been one of the very best steaks I've ever had!). Then it was time to prepare for their beautiful ceremony before rocking the night away!

Thanks Josh and Courts for all the fun in the sun...my camera and I adore you!!!

~~~~

This was such a sweet moment between Courtney and her Dad (who I'm also a huge fan of!) when she first arrived...

I don't usually include too many family pictures on the blog...but this was too good to resist!!

Courtney, you are oh.so.gorgeous.

This shot made me so happy when it popped up on my computer screen! I had been teasing Courtney and asking her to give me her very fiercest of looks! This is what proceeded...

Holy Handsome Batman!

Hee hee...

I was in elle oh vee eeh with their ring shot!!!

To see Josh and Courtney's slideshow, click here.

{love at first sight...}

2009-09-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

I'll be the first to admit that I've seen a whole lot of fabulous photographs in my day. I've admired some of them for as long as I can remember and those that made a real impression on me have stuck in my mind as part of the reason that I love this art so much. Photographs are memories...they are moments...they are the essence of our lives captured in a way that enables us to hold on to them forever.

But never, in all the days of my life, have I ever seen an image that I have loved more than this one...

Ladies and Gentlemen...we're having a baby!!!

{picketing...}

2009-09-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

How do I put this gently? I SUCK! That’s right…you heard it here first; I’m the suckiest suck that ever sucked!!!! I vowed that I when I returned from vacation I would proceed to be my usual wonderful blogging self and of course, that hasn’t happened! I seriously bow my head in shame!

But do allow me to explain {or at least try make up something that resembles explaining!}; I most definitely assumed that when I returned from Italy, I would be rested and rejuvenated…ready to dive into all that awaited us for September. As it turns out, my body feels exactly that; fully rested and rejuvenated…and apparently it doesn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize that in any way! Long story short, my body has apparently gone on strike from all things that seem to fall under “other related duties”!! Even coming in to work every day mildly felt like I was crossing the picket lines!

I have spent close to two weeks sleeping twelve hours a night, taking naps during the day, reading my books by the pool and for all the moments in between, eating delicious Italian food and admiring amazing Roman architecture. Really, can you blame my pampered self for rebelling?!?! So, all of this to say that my first week back has been a bit harder than I anticipated. Going back to work for eight hours a day, five days a week just feels so counter-intuitive all of the sudden…like trying to leap into a raging fire!! “Why?” my body is asking. “Why must you play with emotions like this?” it whimpered as I dragged it in for yet another early morning at the office. It was all so sad!

So all of this whining has forced me to really try and ease myself in slowly so that the shock to the system is a little bit less traumatic!! This, my friends, leads me to my lack of blogging presence over the past week. Pitiful, I know! But I blame Italy and why shouldn’t I…it’s the one that infused me with delicious pasta and afternoon naps!

I can’t quite report on how long this state of “real life denial” is planning to stick around for but hopefully, the two sides will soon be able to negotiate an agreement that happily allows blogging to be put back on the table! After all, there’s tons to catch up on; Courtney and Josh’s wedding, the catalogue that I’m shooting this weekend, Caroline and Brent’s wedding next weekend and of course, the lovely Italia…oh how love thee…let me count the ways…

{aaannnnd…we’re back to the picket lines…!!!!}

{there's no place like home...}

2009-09-02T05:43:00.000-07:00

So I didn’t have to click my ruby slippers because Northwest Airlines brought us safely home, but it sure was lovely to see the Ottawa skyline as we approached in the dead of the night. It seems that no matter where I go in the world…how long I’ve gone or how much fun I’ve had…the very best part is always coming home. There truly is no place like home.

I had the intention of posting as soon as we returned from Italy but instead, I just found myself relishing in the pleasure of having returned; I would spend leisurely mornings at Starbucks, browse the bookstore for new reading material, catching up with friends, providing much love to our fur ball and just settling back into our routine. It seems that while we were away, autumn has descended upon the nation’s capital and there is a lovely energy that has invaded our city as all the students return and big yellow school buses fill our streets again.

The enjoyment of returning home aside, I certainly shouldn’t neglect to mention that Italy was incredible! In fact, it was better than incredible; it was all I imagined it would be and it has left a magical impression on me that very well may spoil every day life forever! We walked among the cobblestone streets until our feet ached, stared at beautiful fountains until our eyes were crossed and somehow, never got tired of it.

I was left though with one very puzzling question that I have yet to figure out…how on earth do Italian women look so darn amazing in that wretched heat?!?! For all of the ways in which Italy and I got along, I certainly stood out as a foreigner amongst their luscious women. Despite the forty degree heat that we endured every day of our visit, Italian women would stroll through the streets with their flowing hair, their strappy sandals, their beautifully tanned skin and all the while…simply oozing sex appeal. Me, on the other hand…not so much! I spent my time in shorts and a t-shirt, sweating profusely and dragging my butt around while my rapidly melting gelato dripped all over the place! Please allow me to be the first to say that I was hardly the essence of grace!!!

Nonetheless…we rocked Italy! We showed the country just how much gelato the Smyths can really consume and while much of it may have ended up spilling down the front of my shirt…it was well worth every mad attempt!

Photos to follow very shortly...!!!

{leaving on a jet plane...}

2009-08-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

"All my bags are packed...I'm ready to go..."

But before I do, I'll leave you with the tiniest little sneak peak of
Josh and Courtney's wedding!

"Striking" was the word of the day!!!

{joe & louisa...}

2009-08-18T15:53:00.001-07:00

About a month ago I got to spend the loveliest of evenings with Joe and Louisa, a couple that I know from church, to take their maternity pictures. After having to delay our photo shoot once, we managed to find some time between the rain drops one Monday evening and relish in the excitement of their much anticipated addition to the family.

Joe and Louisa were the first couple that I’ve photographed as “newbies”…my endearing term for those expecting their first child! Doing maternity pictures is always a lot of fun but this was even more fun because both parents just seem to radiate this excitement that can only be seen in those waiting to be parents for the very first time. I had the most amazing evening just listening to them talk about their experience of preparing for this new time in their life and about the type of person that they hope to bring into this world. It’s very sweet being able to watch two people go through this transition together…even if it is only for a couple of hours!!

Seriously...how cute are these two?!?!

Too adorable for words!!

And on this note, I can’t think of a better way to finish off this post than to announce that Joe and Louisa’s daughter made her first appearance into the world yesterday! Baby Bethany has finally arrived weighing in at 6 pounds and 15 ounces…!

Congratulations Joe and Louisa and welcome to the world Little Lady!

{when in rome...}

2009-08-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it! I finished my last shoot of the summer this past Friday and it was lovely! I couldn’t possibly have thought of a better way to finish off my summer season than by being present to photograph Josh and Courtney’s wedding at Lago Restaurant. Between the amazing weather, the incredible view and the unbelievable food, the wedding was almost as spectacular as the bride…almost, but not quite!

Since March, when this crazy little idea of taking pictures first came into being, I have done nineteen photo shoots for every one from toddlers to neighborhood horses! Not bad for my “newly incorporated” self (as my sister-in-law would say!)!! But now it’s time for a break …a little breather from all the excitement! I have six more shoots scheduled for September and October (two of them being weddings) but for right now, my sights are on Italy for a much needed adventure!

I have to admit that I’m not very good at pacing myself all the time. I try really hard and I’ve made the pursuit of balance one of my highest priorities in life but photography seems to be a beast all unto its own! Photography brews excitement and passion and an endless source of energy for me…but nonetheless, it has now been six months of taking pictures, editing pictures, attending classes, creating websites, writing business plans and not to mention…tending to the rest of life; the life that existed before this came into being and a life that also includes an entirely separate full-time job! So, in the name of not falling of the edge, it’s time to take a little step back from it all and enjoy life the Italian way!

Aside from the many splendors that is Italy, I’m most looking forward to ten uninterrupted days with my husband! He has been an unbelievable support throughout this whole journey and the most amazing “business manager”. He wanted my dream to come true so badly that in part, it became his own…and I love him to death for it. While I may be the one behind the camera, this would never have become the success that it is without him. I’m looking forward to getting up when we feel like it and going to sleep when we feel like it. I’m looking forward to leaving our computers behind and having a steady diet of gelato. I’m looking forward to the plane ride with nothing to do but read and catch up on the latest movies. I’m looking forward to seeing a Bernini sculpture in the street instead of in a Gallery. And I’m looking forward to just chatting with my husband and holding his hand. It’s been a crazy and hectic year for both of us and while we’ve been really good at always finding time for each other in the midst of it all, this will be a well earned indulgence for both of us.

So, while my latest couple is off on their honeymoon, I will delightfully be editing the pictures from their big day in time for when they get back. And just as they are returning to start their new life together, we will be heading off to celebrate a new milestone in ours!

Ah…La vita è bella...

{courtney & josh: engagement...}

2009-08-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

Blind dates…I have a hard time deciding what I think about them. On the one hand, they are completely agonizing; as if first dates aren’t gut wrenching enough all on their own without adding the “blind” factor into them. But, on the other hand, my husband is essentially the result of a blind date so who am I to complain given how nicely that worked out for me?!?! So I guess that leaves my views of blind dating much like my views of any other kind of dating…it’s really hit or miss! Or as Carrie Bradshaw so eloquently puts it; “the only reason people still endure the potential misery of a first date is for the potential magic of a first kiss!” Amen!

Anytime I get a new client that I’ve never met before, I feel somewhat like I’m preparing for a blind date; We’ve chatted a bit - either by phone or by email – we decide to finally meet and sure enough, it takes more time than usual to pick out an outfit! Then of course, there is the inevitable waiting to see if the first date warrants a second date or better yet…a date with camera in hand! It’s all very romantic and lucky for me…I’ve always had exceptional taste when it comes to dating!

When I first made plans to meet up with Josh and Courtney, we decided on a Starbucks near their house. I told them to look for the girl with dark hair that was tied back who was working on her laptop. I didn’t realize that there would be more than one of us who could fit the bill but really, what blind date would be complete without a slightly awkward introduction?!? But we endured! We talked about their upcoming wedding, their families, what kind of pictures they would like and before long…I was hooked! That’s right…full on head over heels! Maybe it was their charm, their signature smiles or the adorable way that they looked at each other, but whatever it was…if they could find a way to bottle it, they’d make a fortune (and I’d be the first in line!!!!)!

Josh and Courtney are an exceptionally awesome couple! They are the potential magic that make the potential misery worth enduring! They not only make my job easy…but they make my job fun and when I met up with them at the National Gallery of Canada to do their engagement pictures, it definitely ranked up there as one of the best second dates ever!!!

As I was going through their pictures afterwards I kept thinking to myself, “Wow…I can’t believe that I get to photograph these two on their wedding day” and then just moments later…the panic set in…

Oh my gosh…what am I going to wear?!?!

Josh and Courtney, thanks for giving me butterflies! I can’t wait to see you again in a few days for what will undoubtedly be a date to remember!!

~~~

Josh and Courtney actually got engaged right here, at this very spot!!

best.kissers.ever.

This picture makes me smile every time I look at it...they are just so much fun!!

To see the rest of their engagement shoot, click here.

{getting personal...}

2009-07-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

I’ve been trying to avoid it for a while now. I thought that maybe if I carved out enough time in my day, then my personal life and my photographic life wouldn’t have to cross paths because they would have their separate outlets…their separate spaces. But at long last, I’ve come to realize that trying to shelter one from the other is like trying to shelter me from my peanut butter or Starbucks or my husband…it just can’t (nor should it) be done!

I don’t know why I thought that my photography should remain a separate entity from the rest of me when just about every ounce of my blood, sweat and tears has been poured into it. And in all honesty, I’ve never done anything more “me” than this. Nothing has been more authentic or genuine or sincere than my photography or my pursuit of it, so how did I ever think that I could get away without having the two intrinsically linked?

For nearly four years now, I’ve been posting on a personal blog. The ups, the downs, the new, the old; for better or worse, life has happened there, or at least been transcribed there. Over time, I’ve grown quite attached to my little corner of cyberspace. It’s been an outlet of creativity, cathartic venting and endless conversation. But I’m feeling the need to simplify, to reduce the many demands on my life and somehow find a way to continue the dialogue without the strain of adding one more thing to my “to do” list (I live by the sanctity of lists!).

I believe that a reasonable solution has finally risen to the surface as of late and that is to try having one conversation instead of two. To try bringing my life more in sync with my photography and acknowledging that one never fails to influence the other. The initial argument that I had with myself in my head was that “one blog is for my professional life and the other is for my personal life” but who am I kidding? Given that I spend the majority of my waking hours focused on my profession then that, by default, very much makes it personal. My photography is personal, whether I want to admit it or not.

Nearly ever aspect of my life has influenced my plunge and my passion; my love of God and my love of my husband; my desire for balance and my desire for a life well-lived; my fear of cancer and my brush with cancer; my admiration of beauty and my admiration of simplicity; my need for creativity and my need for freedom; my quest to conquer my fear and my quest to belong to something bigger than myself. All roads have led here and any attempt to deny that merely takes away from the type of photographer that I ultimately long to be.

So this place will no longer be just about my pictures or my clients; it will be about my life and my love; my fears and my insecurities; the adventures that I laughingly call my life and my time wishing that I was just as cool as Jasmine Star!

Because that’s me…the real me, which in turn, makes the photographic me.

{you matter...}

2009-07-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

Okay…so who’s the worst blogger in the world these days?!?! Well the verdict is in and yours truly is guilty as charged! For whatever its worth though, I don’t mean to be!! It’s not so much “willful delinquency” as much as it has more to do with a seasonal condition better known “summer overload” {that would totally fly in court, right?!?!}. All in all, things are just busy!

Last week was a marathon week of shoots for me which left very little time for editing, especially given that we had to shoot between the rain drops all week. Our record breaking rainfall for the month of July has made outdoor photographing a challenge like no other! Mother Nature was kind though and gave us all the hour and a half windows we needed to get the job done and by the end of the week, all of my July photo shoots were finally caught up!

Then came the sickness! Really, there’s nothing more fun or feels more unnatural than being sick in the summer!! So when I should have been editing my mass of photo shoots, I was instead curled up in bed with my perfect feline watching the first season of Gilmore Girls!! So I suppose that being said, it wasn’t all bad {I’ve missed Luke!}!!

But I’m back…and trying relentlessly to get my regular blogging self back into action!! It shouldn’t be too hard either as I have TONS to blog about; Joe and Louisa’s maternity session, Josh and Courtney’s engagement session {and much anticipated wedding!}, as well as some family sessions thrown in there and of course, our upcoming trip to Italy! Before I dive into any of those though, I wanted to post some pictures of one of my favourite photo shoots yet; my afternoon with Baby Tobin on his first birthday! I had put some teasers of him up back in June but neglected to give him his rightful post on my blog {bad Gen!}. Then I saw this great little tidbit of wisdom on Jen Berry’s blog {I believe also borrowed from yet another fellow blogger} and it seemed like the perfect way to introduce this beautiful little boy; who matters so deeply to so many people…

• When you love the work you do and the people you do it with, you matter.
• When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself, you matter.
• When you leave the world a better place than you found it, you matter.
• When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it, you matter.
• When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean, you matter.
• When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words), you matter.
• When kids grow up wanting to be you, you matter.
• When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it could be, you matter.
• When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller, you matter.
• When the room brightens when you walk in, you matter.
• And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime, you matter.

~~~

To see the rest of Tobin's session, click here.

{seeking refuge...}

2009-07-27T12:21:00.000-07:00

I’m a reader. Everyone who knows me well knows that I never leave the house without a book in tow. I need the written word the way that I need oxygen and the idea of there being a time when books were burned by the masses almost takes my breath away. I do have to admit though that I am a very particular kind of reader; I love words on paper. I love the smell of the ink on the paper and the sound of the spine cracking anytime I open a book. I love to hold it and touch it and pour all of my love into it. Like my relationships, I like my literature to be tangible (sorry facebook!).

I actually saw a man the other day sitting at a bus stop reading an e-book. We studied the evolution of the electronic book in my writing class last year but I had never actually seen one in real life. E-books haven’t managed to breakthrough the Canadian market very well and I find great comfort in this! I like that some things can’t be ushered out by the ravages of technology. In such an ever changing world…I think this is more important than ever.

That being said, this makes blog reading a bit counter intuitive to my nature. Don’t get me wrong, I most definitely have my tried and true blogs that I can’t live without but unlike many of my counterparts, going through my blog updates usually doesn’t take much more than twenty-minutes each morning (maybe half an hour if everyone updates on the same day!).

I’ve been making a rather concerted effort though lately to commit a little bit of extra time each day to read up on the blogs of other photographers. I’ve been eager to read how others have done it…how they’ve made their way in the photographic world. I find that it’s easy sometimes to get discouraged by the steep learning curve that I’m on and I’ve concluded that I can either dwell in it or hear from others who have been there themselves.

Photo blogs are everywhere. Really good photo blogs are everywhere. But humble photo blogs are a bit harder to come by. Those who are willing to put their humility on paper and openly discuss the mistakes, the discouragement and the times that came before the easy road are not a dime a dozen…but they are out there. And I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for the absolutely amazing photographers who have been so willing to eloquently share their struggles and their insecurities regarding a craft that they love so deeply yet still has a rather competitive edge. I’m grateful that I’m not the only one who fights to unearth the little seeds of doubt of that sometimes get planted in my head. I’m grateful that even though it doesn’t smell like a Jane Austen book or sound like a J.K. Rowling book, technology has enabled me to find comfort in a world that sometimes seems very daunting.

Also, blogs are cheaper than therapy!

{making an entrance...}

2009-07-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

To all of my brides...perhaps you want to consider this for your ceremony!!!!
{thank you Paper Moon Photography!}

{kristen...}

2009-07-21T15:18:00.001-07:00

So tell me, what exactly do you think of when you hear the words “country girl”?!?! Not being anything even remotely close to a country girl myself, I really have no idea!! Don’t get me wrong…I can Calgary Stampede it up with the best of them but when it comes to “living the life”, I’m at a loss! That being said, my recent photographic subject, the lovely Kristen, broke the mold of stereotypical country girl (whatever that may be) with a vengeance!! Think Abercrombie & Fitch meets Heartland!! It's hot!

Kristen and I started planning our session together many months ago when I knew that I would be making an appearance in her neck of the woods (her neck of the woods being a mere eight hours away from my neck of the woods!). She wanted something a little urban…a little country…and all Kristen! Really…what could possibly be more fun?!?!

When the day finally rolled around, the dark storm clouds stayed at bay and Kristen happily showed me what it’s really like to be a country girl!!! We roamed the dirt roads in her SUV (complete with her pink iPod, pink cowboy boots and a bag of sour gummy worms!) and stopped whenever we felt inspired (which turned out to be frequently!)!

A little over six hours later (because we had that much fun!), I packed up my stuff, followed the setting sun back home and realized that few things are hotter than a pretty girl and her farm toys!!

Our apologies to the gentleman who nearly fell off his motorcycle as we were taking this shot! Really, it's not her fault that she's so distracting!!

Kristen's long time boyfriend (they've been together longer than I've even known my husband!!), joined us part way through our shoot so that he could happily play his part as her most beloved of accessories!

Ummm...yeah...country life is hot!

Click here to see the rest of Kristen's smokin' slideshow!!

{twinkle twinkle birthday star...}

2009-07-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

Dare I say the words…"I am thirty-one now"! Yikes!

Last year, for months leading up to my birthday, I would have dreams about losing my teeth. Once I took a moment to look it up, I discovered that such dreams are in reference to having anxieties about getting older. The subconscious has an interesting sense of humour!

I seemed more willing to “cross over” this year than I was last. In fact, in a lot of ways, I was rather looking forward to turning the page into an older and so I’m told, wiser year. Being thirty was a challenging year for me. At times I may even have been willing to say that it was among my hardest years so far. I found myself tested in ways that I had never been before; my health (both mental and physical), my faith, my relationships, my sanity…they all took a fairly unpredictable trip on this ride we laughingly call life.

As my husband and I discussed the trials of the my first year in the “Triple XXX”, we were reminded of how even among the darkest of times…God is good. I say this because not only have I come out on the other side (and fairly unwounded!) but in the midst of it all…I found this; these pictures, these words, this site, this passion, these people. Hidden among all the dark shadows that followed me around, there was this bright light brewing that I wasn’t even aware of.

Back in February, when this tiny little seed of an idea to pursue photography got planted into my head, my husband and I mentioned how perhaps by mid-July it would be fun to have a blog up and running about my photos…and then maybe, one day, we could actually have an entire website. Our eyes glistened with far off possibility at the thought! But low and behold, God had other plans…faster plans! And here we are, not only having a shiny new website to show you…but also with an entire summer booked with photo shoots and inquiries rolling in for next year already. During one of the darkest years of my life, this has become one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to me. Perhaps God knew all along!

So without further ado, and thanks to the most amazing, the most supportive and the most devastatingly handsome man I’ve ever known…ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to welcome you to the new and completely fabulous home of fifteen:fifteen-one photography…

Click here to take the grand tour of our new digs! Enjoy!

{missing in action...}

2009-07-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

Okay…so it’s been eleven days since my last post. Unforgivable, I know. It’s been a bit of a crazy couple of weeks…tumultuous even. But I am still breathing and plan to get back on the blogging bandwagon very shortly. In fact, it’s my birthday tomorrow and in turn, my husband tells me that there might be a few surprises in store for all of us (most likely in the form a shiny new website!!)…so bear with us as we roll over into my new year in style!

On another note…it’s been raining cats and dogs in Ottawa as of late. Very un-July like! Normally we find ourselves stampeding over each other for space among the air conditioned rooms because of the immense heat and humidity…but this year; not so much. All of the rain has resulted in a number of re-scheduled photo shoots which somehow, have all accumulated into next week’s agenda! So the upcoming week will be jammed pack full of photo shoots in hopes of trying to make up for Mother Nature’s lack of cooperation. That is of course, unless it rains…again!

While we wait to find out, I’ll leave you with this; me…many, many moons ago {and in very poor resolution!}! Ahhh...remember the days when the worst of your problems was keeping the rooster from eating your hot dog?!?!

{postcard from home...}

2009-07-06T06:15:00.000-07:00

So I'm still out of town for a little while longer...surrounded by a flurry of homemade food and nieces and nephews!!! But I wanted to post a couple of pictures from a shoot that I did last week while we have been away; Kristen and I spent the better part of Friday afternoon and evening together driving around the countryside seeing how many different ways she could look amazing! Apparently the answer to that is "countless"!!!!!

Also, you may notice the new watermark on her pictures! That is just one of many changes you're going to see in the very near future as we're in the midst of giving fifteen:fifty-one photography a bit of a face lift!! I'm pretty excited to show you the new website but we're both going to have to wait a little bit longer for that one!!

In the meantime, these are just two of the ways in which Kristen rocked my camera!!!

{sand road...}

2009-06-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

So, what happens when you get a guy who needs new some new pictures done with his guitar, a couple of girls who like to play dress-up and some very photogenic horses? You get a car full of people sporting the best bug spray money can buy…a mandatory stop at Starbucks…and a morning spent down on Sand Road!

Home to the most beautiful rural settings, the most hospitable people {martini anyone?!?!} and the most cooperative of furry friends; Sand Road is definitely one of our region’s best kept secrets. What was meant to be just a morning photo shoot trailed long into the afternoon as we just couldn’t tear ourselves away from it all. But when we finally did pack every thing back into the car and start driving down the dirt road back home, I think that we all left knowing that this photo shoot was leaving us with not only some amazing images, but also some pretty memorable stories created in the name of photography!!

From the horse that wouldn’t flinch at barking dogs or motor vehicles, yet found himself terrified of my grandmother’s wooden chair…to the new four day old furry addition that we got to play with in the pasture. From drinking martinis in the middle of a dirt road to the perfectly timed train that crossed our path! It was definitely a shoot not soon to be forgotten!!

Sand Road {and all those that reside there}…you are one of the few worthwhile reasons for getting up that early on a Saturday morning!!! We love you!

~~~

Shawn attracted many of the neighbors when he happily played my camera a tune! Without the busy sounds of the city to drown out all the beautiful music, it felt like his melody could be heard for miles!

Jamie was such a trooper when we experienced an unexpected visit from a passing train!! Seriously...I think that her expression here is absolutely priceless!

Oh little one...how I wish my husband wouldn't object to me bringing you home!!!! I think that you'd get along just swell with my kitty!

To view the slideshow from the rest of this shoot, click here.

{wait for it...}

2009-06-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

Okay...so I couldn't resist giving you a little sneak peek of what my morning was like hanging out with my little buddy Tobin on the day of his first birthday {have I mentioned that I have the best job in the world?!?!}...

Enough said!

{share the love...}

2009-06-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

So, as a “newbie” photographer, I don’t know a whole lot of other people in the industry just yet (at least not locally) but I do have a bunch of amazing photographers that I stalk (ummm…I mean…follow!) in cyberspace. Their work never ceases to amaze me and taking some time every day to catch up on their projects always reminds me of why I love photography so much. They are inspiring…artistic…creative…brilliant…and I spend every day hoping that I can be even half the photographers that they are.

Following their blogs does, in its own little way, make me feel like I’m sharing in their lives and in turn, I share in both their glorious wedding shoots and the moments that seem to blindside them out of nowhere. That being said, one of the lovely ladies that I follow is going through more right now than many of us will ever endure in our entire lives…and I’m sad for her. Not actually knowing her leaves me feeling frustrated at my inability to do something. So I pray for her and her husband. I pray for their family and their friends. I pray that they can find peace through this challenging time and I pray that God will make his Presence known to them. Most of all; I pray for a full recovery that will enable them to live a long, healthy and happy life together…just like they deserve.

So my fellow bloggers and readers, I ask you to do the same. Please go and visit Jen’s blog (and her husband’s) and show them some love. You’ll drool over her amazing pictures and you’ll be moved by their strength and sense of humour.

Jen Berry…you don’t know us…but we are with you nonetheless…

{why thank you starbucks...}

2009-06-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

You're too kind...

{simon & manon...}

2009-06-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

I’m a city girl…tried and true! I just adore the look and feel of corner coffee shops, urban architecture and all the stories that walk past me on the street every day. I love the endless culinary possibilities and knowing that somewhere, someone is always awake at all hours of the night. I especially love driving back to the city after having been away and seeing the skyline off in the distance…there is something strangely comforting about it.

A couple of weekends ago, I was walking through a big field in Cantley, Québec; a small rural community about forty-five minutes outside of Ottawa. I was there with Simon on the afternoon of his wedding as we made our way to a sand pit where he and his friends spent a lot of time growing up…a place that a city girl like me would seldom ever find herself! We had just left his house where the guys had been getting ready and where incidentally, the bride’s parents lived two doors down. In many ways, Simon was, quite literally, marrying the girl next door!

Given the amount of time spent at the sand pit during their younger days, Simon requested a few pictures along the cliff with his groomsmen. As we made our way through the field, Simon pointed out the elementary school where he and his friends all met and just next door was the hundred and forty year old church where he was about to marry his longtime love, Manon. It was astounding to me the memories that were contained within this small rural area and the proximity in which so much had happened. An entire lifetime had occurred in this beautiful little corner of Québec and a whole new life was about to begin in the very same place. That is certainly a charm that is not easily found in the jungles of the city.

So off we went for one last visit to the sand pit before Simon said “I do” and I have to admit that I was quite proud of myself for not even letting the black flies keep me from having a great time! Really, it’s hard not to laugh when a bunch of guys in tuxedos are jumping through the air in a giant field for your photographic entertainment!!!!

And as I drove home that night and saw the Ottawa skyline approaching ahead of me, I had to smile knowing that for all the things I love about the city…it’s even better when you can enjoy the best of both worlds. Thank you Simon and Manon for inviting me into your wonderful world!

{click the icon on the bottom right hand side for a full screen view of the slideshow!}

{a girl, her boy and her shoes...}

2009-06-12T09:57:00.001-07:00

I’ve been meaning to put this post up for a while of these photos that I took back in early spring but sometimes, even the writer in me is a lack for words when it comes to the people that I love!! But my writer’s block is certainly no excuse for depriving the world of my beautiful friend’s smile!

Please meet Christina! She is my oldest and dearest friend from high school. We met in grade ten and have been the best of friends ever since. We spent a lot of time talking about boys back in the day until we got our hands a couple of the best boys out there and moved our conversation to other things (okay…that’s a lie! We still talk about boys any chance we get!!!).

When it comes to boyfriends, I obviously have very high standards for my friends and don’t want them giving their hearts to just anyone (I try not to make a habit of busting knee caps, but when it comes my girls…I’m available and willing!). That’s why having Jason around is so wonderful; thanks to him, I can happily put my baseball bat away and watch the world unfold just as it should be…because they are just perfect together!

I had the very joyous opportunity of photographing my beautiful friend and her main man back in March and I find myself smiling every time I look at their pictures! They may be far away from me (too far) but these help the distance seem more bearable.

I forgot to mention that for Christina's birthday, Jason took her out shoe shopping and the result was this amazing pair of hot pink shoes!! I do believe that this may have been the defining moment in which Jason was officially welcomed into our circle!!!

Thank you breeze for coming along at just the right moment and making Christina's hair look extra fabulous...

{boys are fun...}

2009-06-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

...especially those of Manon and Simon's wedding!!
More of them to come soon!

{ben & lindsay...}

2009-06-02T19:44:00.001-07:00

It’s not every day that I get to spend my morning with five handsome guys dressed in tuxedos by my side…but that is exactly how my day of photographing Ben and Lindsay’s luscious outdoor wedding began; surrounded by dashing young men and lugging my grandmother’s hundred year old chair around a forest! It’s really a tough job…but somebody’s got to do it!!

If there’s ever been a time when I’ve begged and pleaded for Mother Nature’s cooperation, this was it! Ottawa is normally a pretty happy place during this time of year but a spell of cold and dreary weather had been cast upon us and it was conflicting heavily with my philosophy that no beautiful girl in a beautiful dress should ever have to walk in the rain!! Sure enough though, mere hours before their guests arrived, the clouds parted and the heavens poured sunlight down upon Rockcliffe Park for the beautiful moment in which Ben and Lindsay said “I do”.

I’ve often heard it been said that weddings are a dime a dozen; if you’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all. But to see distinction in a wedding is to distinctly see the couple who is a part of it; to see their relationship and their passion, their style and their grace, their past and their future. And if you’re really lucky, a first hand glimpse of just how compassionate Mother Nature can really be!

Ben and Lindsay, it is truly an honour to be able to call you my friends and it is always a priviledge to be a part of your life. While I don't think that any photograph can accurately reflect what amazing people you both are, I do hope that these at least help to reflect what a gorgeous day we all got to be a part of!

{click the icon on the bottom right hand side for a full screen view of the slideshow!}

{coming soon...}

2009-06-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

...The romantic tale of Lindsay & Ben...

{run happy...}

2009-05-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

I should pre-empt this blog post by saying that I don’t have any pictures to show you!!! I know, I know…strange given that it is indeed a photo blog but even photographers need a break from their craft every now and then! I’ve actually taken the last few days off from shooting and editing to partake in my other addiction of choice; running!

I try to run as often as possible but regardless of how much running I’ve managed to fit into my schedule, I always mark the calendar for Ottawa’s National Capital Race Weekend so that I can immerse myself in all the adrenaline, excitement and of course, all of the stories that come along with it. The race weekend never fails to make me cry and I always come out of it with a renewed sense of commitment to my sport and a better appreciation for how much the human spirit can actually prevail in the end.

Aside from actually running, one of my favourite parts of the entire weekend is gathering along the canal to watch the 10km race on the Saturday evening. The weather is always extraordinary and watching 9,000 runners stretched out over five kilometers as the sun sets over the water always takes my breath away…but I never take my camera! For some reason it’s just one of those things that I need to experience and taken in rather than have record of it because frankly, very few pictures are going to do justice to the man running with a banner overhead that says “I beat brain cancer” or the visually impaired runner that was corralled through the race by other runners surrounding him at every angle. Pictures don’t always explain what’s it’s like to watch a man finish the marathon for the 35th year in a row or to see the excitement of little kids holding signs that say “Go Mommy Go!” You simply have to be there.

So that being said, my running weekend has come and gone once again…and it was fantastic! I have my medal around my neck, my belly full of post-race indulgences, my feet recovering nicely and my soul filled with inspiration for the running season ahead. I couldn’t have asked for a better two days!

But speaking of marathons…I have a marathon of my own starting very shortly and it’s called wedding season!!!! I have four consecutive weekends coming up of shoots (two being weddings) and three shoots waiting to be scheduled. I will do my best to include blogging in the rotation but bear with me if you can…it’s a long way from here to there! But as I told many runners this past weekend “keep at it…you’re almost there!”

In honour of the 36,000 runners that went the distance this weekend and the $850,000.00 that was raised for our local hospitals, I leave you with you with some inspiring pictures taken by those who did actually bring their cameras!!

Thank you Anne for this great shot of the 10km start line and please check out these amazing pictures of the half and full marathon taken by Ottawa Citizen photographers (I’m in there somewhere!!). So long National Capital Race Weekend...see you next year!!

{facebook fundraising...}

2009-05-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

In the last month or so, I’ve had a number of people approach me about getting pictures done for the sole purpose of getting a decent facebook profile picture. At first I thought that they were kidding but sure enough, people actually wanted to pay me to help them put their best face forward in cyberspace! Who knew?!?! Getting a good head shot isn’t usually very hard and certainly doesn’t require a lot of time so I really wasn’t sure how to go about charging for this service. That’s when I remembered that my most favourite weekend of the year was coming up and it was going to provide me with the perfect solution to my dilemma!!

This coming weekend is the National Capital Race Weekend when literally tens of thousands of runners descend upon our city to run any number of different races; from the 2km family fun run to the ultimate of running achievements…the 42.2 kilometre marathon. For nearly the entire time that I’ve been running, I’ve been training for one of these weekend races and personally, the experience never ceases to amaze me!! This year my husband and I will run the half-marathon together for the first time…an endeavor that I am very much looking forward to because in the five previous years that I’ve run it, I have yet to experience to honour of crossing the finish line with him!!!

Even better still though is the fundraising that is created as a result of this event; all of the money raised from personal pledges go towards the Ottawa Hospital Foundation as the official local charity…a organization quite near and dear to our hearts. Our friends and family are no strangers to the assistance provided by the Ottawa Hospitals and this year alone, my husband and I have gone through its system more times that we would have liked, so that’s why I generally choose the Ottawa Race Weekend as my one fundraising occasion of the year and devote all of my efforts to it. That’s why the solution seemed perfect when I decided that instead of charging my clients for head shots, I would create a “Facebook Fundraising Special for the Ottawa Hospital Foundation” -- I would provide twenty minute photo sessions for facebook profile pictures in exchange for a pledge towards our half-marathon this coming Sunday. The offer has proven to be quite a success so far and so much so that I might even consider making it an annual thing!

Here are some of my favourites so far…posing for a good cause!

This client was a little bit more hesitant about having an overly close up picture done, so we veered away from the traditional headshot and went a bit more casual. I have to say...she was a total natural in front of the camera!

You may remember Samantha from my previous post; she is actually the inspiration behind all of this because when we were planning our session together, she specifically asked if I could work in a good facebook profile picture for her...and from there, everyone else just followed suit!

Thanks so much everyone for your amazing contributions to this great cause! Anyone else still wanting to get in on the action...you have four days left then it's time to lace up!

{geoff & samantha...}

2009-05-15T19:56:00.001-07:00

The first time that Samantha and I had talked about getting pictures done was quite a few months back, when Ottawa was still covered in snow and the cold winter air was still blowing through. She was hoping to get pictures done with her boyfriend Geoff and I, of course, was happy to oblige! The problem though was that Geoff lives in Toronto and trying to coordinate his trips to Ottawa with my availability was proving to be a challenge! That's why I was extra pleased late last week when I received the magic words..."he's coming to town!"

While we had planned a wonderful sunset photoshoot for Saturday evening, Mother Nature had different plans and her plans included rain. So.Much.Rain. It rained so much in fact, that not only did we need to reschedule the shoot for Sunday but we also had to pick a new location because our original site became flooded. It became quite evident though when I awoke on Sunday morning that having a location was going to be the very least of our worries because {you guessed it} it was still raining!!

By now, Geoff's departure time for Toronto was fast approaching and we were starting to get a bit concerned that we were going to miss our tiny window of opportunity when photographer and subjects happen to be in the same place at the same time. Sure enough though, by late morning, while the clouds didn't want to budge an inch, the rain did let up enough for me to hop in my car and kidnap them to a location that I happen to have spotted on my way to meet them; an old iron bridge in a residental area not far from downtown Ottawa. We ended up feeling pretty fortunate to have managed a good hour of shooting before Geoff needed to pack his bags and head back home again!

I'll admit, I was pretty disappointed initially at the change of plans because with the gorgeous, warm weather we've been having lately, our original site would have been dynamite but after having finished their pictures...I just can't imagine them any other way.

This next picture just makes me smile because I was pretty convinced that Geoff just thought I was completely crazy for constantly asking them to stand in the middle of the road! I snapped this shot just after he looked over his shoulder yet again for traffic and I gave him one of those "I promise I won't let you become road kill" sort of looks! Sam thought the whole situation was pretty funny!!

I think that Samantha looks amazing in this picture! I think that it reflects her personality a lot which is very strong and powerful, yet completely striking all at the same time.

I was so excited to have captured this next shot because poor Geoff was so cold by the end of the shoot because he didn't want to wear his coat during the pictures and the mercury had managed to drop well below normal temperatures for this time of year {even for Ottawa!}. I was switching my lens when I turned around and found Samantha doing her very best to keep him warm! Seriously...how sweet is that?!?!

{blue eyed beauties...}

2009-05-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

That’s really the only way to describe the Martin girls! They have the kind of blue eyes that remind me of why I always wished that I had blue eyes!!

I got to spend the morning with the Martin girls and their main men last weekend capturing the many amazing dynamics amongst them; from the littlest one full of energy to the desperately in love heads of the family! We wandered down to the Rideau River locks and decided to take full advantage of the beautiful, sunny weather that was finally being bestowed upon the nation’s capital! I remember saying that morning “wouldn’t it be fun if we had a little bit of a breeze for the photo shoot” and that’s where God stepped in and replied with “be careful what you wish for!!!” A breeze indeed…we ended up with a flurry of long hair all over the place!

We had a really fantastic morning though that left all of us desperately yearning for a nap and me wanting blue eyes more than ever!

{home...}

2009-05-01T14:40:00.001-07:00

The first time that I really picked up a camera was for my sister-in-law’s wedding during the fall of 2007. My brother-in-law and I were asked to photograph the big day together and given that neither of us had ever done it before…we went in with a plan! He was to take care of all the formal portraits and I was going to capture all the details and candid moments. Between the two of us…we couldn’t fail! And between the 2,000 shots we took…we didn’t!

She was getting married at a lovely winery in South Western Ontario just along the lake with their sunset ceremony overlooking the water. The weather was perfect, the setting was perfect and of course, the couple was perfect! All weddings are stunning in their own way but this one was especially meaningful to our family and was filled with an immensity of love and emotion that would have brought just about anyone to tears.

My sister-in-law was marrying her best friend…her partner…her beloved and she was marrying another woman. In a day and age in which it’s easier to judge one another than it is to accept each other, it takes great courage to declare your love before God knowing that not everyone believes there is a place for it. It takes great conviction to stand tall in defense of your beliefs and even more so in the face of unruly opposition. After ten years together, that’s exactly what they did; with beauty, grace and a love so deep for another, they showed all of us what it really means to walk through this life by someone’s side and to commit so profoundly to another that it rises above even the ravages of a doubting world.

I’ve never been so honoured to be behind the camera than I was on that day.

"Another summer day has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome and I want to go home..."
~ Michael Buble

{the best bump of all...}

2009-04-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be self-employed. Even as a little girl, while my friends played house…I played entrepreneur! Even my Barbie dolls were always fiercely independent women…owning clothing stores and hot dog stands! One of them even owned a cattle ranch in the spare bedroom of our house!! Self-employment really suits my personality and I do hope that one day, in the not so distant future, it will be my every day life.

No matter how or when this happens though, there is one thing that I will miss immensely when the time comes, and that’s having co-workers! The people that I work with at my “day job” are amazing and they make going to work every day a blast. Come to think of it, some of my closest friends are people that I have met through work. Granted, not all colleagues deserve a gold star (I’ve heard stories!) but if there is one thing that I have been blessed with, it has been the highest standard of people with which to share eight hours of every day! In all reality, we tend to see our colleagues more than any other people during our work week and in most cases, my colleagues have come to be my friends first and foremost.

That’s why it was such an honour when my long time colleague, France, asked me if I would go to their home to photograph her and her family in the weeks leading up to the arrival of their second baby.

France and I were hired mere months apart from each other and in the five years that we’ve known each other, we’ve watched each other get engaged, get married, buy houses, have children and just about every thing in between. I will be enduring her second maternity leave very soon and I can say with utmost certainty that her absence in my day-to-day life feels numerous and plenty.

Few things move me as much as photographing a family. The intimacy of watching parents and their children together often leaves me feeling like I should look away because it’s so private and precious. Yet, that’s my job…to catch those little moments that make them such a fabulous family and make their life together such a gift. And really, it’s the very least that I can do for the woman that makes my other job such a hilarious place to experience every day!

{ray of light...}

2009-04-20T14:53:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I was having an especially crappy day at work. It was the kind of day in which I should never really have gotten out of bed in the first place but against my better judgment…I did!

After about five hours of a day that was beginning to feel much like having survived a severe gang beating, my good friend Joanne insisted that a breath of fresh air was a necessity! So off we went for a stroll through one of our city’s most beautiful neighborhoods and as we were standing on the corner waiting to cross the street, an Ottawa cab tore through the intersection, right through a giant puddle and sure enough, Joanne and I were soon engulfed with a tidal wave of murky rain water.

As I stood there horrified at the chain of events my day was perpetually taking, Joanne took one look at me, drenched head to toe, and said “Gen…this is God’s way of telling you not to be in a bad mood!” The sentence was barely out of her mouth before the two of us were in stitches laughing. It was the kind of uncontrollable laughter that causes stomach pains and need for a respirator! I’m quite sure that everyone around us thought that we should be admitted to an asylum but I have to say…I certainly wasn’t in a bad mood anymore!

Not long after that, a similar day was unraveling when the two of us found ourselves standing outside waiting for our ride when the skies opened up and unleashed its rage upon us. She looked at me with the utmost of interrogative eyes and said “Gen…what have I told you about this?!?!” I burst out laughing almost instantaneously as neither one of us even bothered to search for cover. It’s truthfully one of my favourite memories.

And this has continued to be the story of my beautiful Joanne…she (and God!) bring sunshine to my life…even in the pouring rain! We spend most of our time laughing hysterically and getting caught in torrential showers…and I simply can’t be in a bad mood around her.

Would you be able to with a smile like hers around…?!?!

{sister for hire...}

2009-04-14T17:58:00.000-07:00

After having spent a fun filled long weekend with family, my husband and I found our selves sharing stories about respective Easter memories as children. For me, Easter has never been anything but lovely. My Mother was always a huge fan of holidays and Easter was certainly no exception; she would come up with the most wonderful scavenger hunts and I would be in a constant frenzy around the house uncovering one treasure after another. All in all, the Easter Bunny rocked my world!

After having spoken to my husband though, I have come to discover that this was not the case in every household; it appears that if you had siblings, Easter was a chaotic stampede in search of hidden chocolate that may or may not have left bodily harm in its midst. Frankly, this came as a bit of a surprise to me!!

Perhaps I should clarify here that I am, indeed, an only child...a fairly rare breed of offspring these days! I get asked quite often what it’s like not to have any brothers or sisters as most people have a hard time being able to fathom the idea. Now that I’m at an age when a lot of my friends are either having or contemplating the idea of having children, the question seems to come up a bit more than usual. As people consider whether or not to expand their own families, I seem to offer a perspective that isn’t easily found.

In all honesty, I don’t remember life as an only child being any different than those of my sibling accompanied friends. My experiences and life lessons came from elsewhere and in so many ways, I developed relationships were that were very similar to those shared between siblings. Of course, I never had to share a bedroom or suffer from Easter morning injuries, but sharing is sharing and rivalry is rivalry regardless of how you learned it.

Since getting married, I’ve actually inherited quite a few siblings; I am one of eight “children” now, which has more than made up for my lack of hair pulling in my younger days! I am also the baby of the family now which leaves me being the consummate little sister of the bunch and no one left to pass all of my wisdom to! That is, until two years ago…when I met Jamie!

Jamie and I spend two days a week together over looking the Ottawa River and during that time, she has definitely become the surrogate little sister in my life! Adorable, youthful, ambitious…Jamie is at that fantastic time in her life that is full of new experiences and possibilities. Every now and then, she’ll pick my brain about boys, roommates and careers, and in turn, she lets me live vicariously through her twenty-something adventures! We laugh…we vent…we have constant coffee dates and more times than not, our days end in a sugar induced coma of some kind!

While Jamie has always been an amazing “little sister”…she has raised the bar of sibling support in recent months. As this photographic project has come together, she has been there every step of the way…from its earliest conception to likely reading these very words. She has listened to me express every ounce of self-doubt…she has endured countless hours of excitement when a great moment has been captured…she is the brains and creativity behind the sexy pink design at the top of the page and she has, of course, put up with me following her around with a telephoto lens in her face!! Needless to say that she’s been a really great sport about it all!!

Since my camera can’t seem to get enough of Jamie, I have no doubt that you’ll be seeing a lot of her up here in posts to come but for now, I wanted to share a couple that she let me steal of her in the meantime. These pictures are actually some of my absolute favourite that I’ve taken so far. They were just so awesome right out of the camera. Or rather, she was so awesome in front of the camera. Either way…I just love these pictures; I think they are dramatic, beautiful and alluring…just like my little sister!

{we.heart.chocolate.}

2009-04-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Wishing you and yours of the loveliest of visits from the Easter Bunny!

{the ex factor...}

2009-04-09T11:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been able to be friends with an ex?

My husband appears to have mastered this skill with his past girlfriends and I always wondered how he did it! I, on the other hand, seem to have adopted the Miranda Hobbes school of thought on this issue; “We didn’t work out…you need to not exist!” Believe me though…it’s not for lack of trying! I’ve actually invested many months of awkward phone calls and painful “updates” (you know the ones!!), all in hopes of being able to find some middle ground and eventually cross over to the other side. It never seems to work though, there always ends up being too much of something; too much history…too much dirt…too many memories from the day you broke-up instead of memories from the days before. In the end, our collective pasts won the battle and they’ve all drifted into the land of lost boyfriends; home to our summer flings, first loves and the occasional admission of bad judgment!

I’m pleased to announce though that I have been given renewed hope as of late, in the form of a short yet sweet relationship from my University days; Josh and I met in our second year of university during a rather strange and oddly inexplicable sequence of events! We met…more than once…in a variety of places…and eventually, we just decided to start meeting on purpose! I have to admit that the randomness of our constantly crossing paths was rather alluring; the mystery…the intrigue…really, what’s a girl to do?!?! I mean, you can’t really blame me for being intoxicated by the “tall, dark and handsome-ness” of it all!!

But alas…I digress…

We did eventually start dating and it was great but much like the flowers he once gave me, our relationship was short lived. Similar to the circumstances that brought us together, new ones were pulling us apart and given our combined track record in dealing with the “ex-factor”, it never even occurred to us to try and take our shared experience to a place that potentially had more staying power than the relationship we had just come out of. With that, we parted ways…until a little creation called Facebook came along and made our worlds collide! Then, just like that, our pasts became present once again and for the two of us, that meant a second chance at the friendship that we let slip between our fingers.

So for the past few months, we’ve been catching up on everything that we missed and we’re also discovering that ten years can seem like a lifetime when you consider all that can happen…marriage, children, careers. We’re also finding though that while we may not have been very successful as a couple, our time together has managed to leave a very promising friendship in its wake (and perhaps evidence that our seemingly random encounters weren’t really random at all!). What we lacked back then appears to be the very thing that’s enabling us to be far better friends now. Who knew?!?!

Josh lives in Toronto now and is the Father of a beautiful little girl. I was heading down to his neck of the woods a few weekends ago for a long overdue visit and it also provided the perfect opportunity for a little stroll down memory lane! Shortly before I headed to Toronto, Josh mentioned that he didn’t have any good pictures of him and his daughter so we decided to meet up in the historic Distillery District not only to resolve his photographic dilemma, but also to have a drink and catch up…you know, just like old friends! Ten years may have passed but I’m finding that with maturity also comes the ability to see beyond what was to the possibility of what may be and in so many ways…it was as though not a single day had gone by. The pictures we captured from that afternoon are proving to be a beautiful reminder for me of just how much things change and all the while, they stay exactly the same.

So, without further ado…I would like you meet my new friend Josh, and his absolutely stunning leading lady, Olivia. They take my breath away...

{not a moment too soon...}

2009-04-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, a good friend and I were discussing the elusive quest for happiness. He was about to move out West from Ottawa and as the two of us were preparing to part ways, we found ourselves reflecting on the years that had just past. We were both standing at a particular crossroad in our lives and happiness, at the time, seemed a bit like an old wives tale.

As we spent an afternoon driving through the rural countryside of Eastern Ontario, we concluded that happiness was something that wasn’t really recognized until the moment had passed you by. It seemed more like a state that was acknowledged after the fact because life seemed to change in such small little incremental steps that we hardly even noticed its progression. In short, we determined that we weren’t really chasing it as much as we were looking over our shoulder at it with nostalgia and wondering what all the magical pieces were that seemed to fit together at the time.

Nearly six years has passed now and while the two of us are provinces apart, we still metaphorically drive the countryside together sometimes and during our time apart we’ve experienced marriage, children, death, the loss of jobs and at times, the loss of ourselves but we have also realized one very important thing; that yes, it’s true, life does have a tendency to coast along with changes that aren’t always noticeable until you’re looking at them in the rearview mirror…but life also stops you dead in your tracks and forces you to look straight ahead.

It’s those moments – the ones that stare you in face – that make life magical. They create the change that we’ve always been to afraid to tackle and the momentum that could derail us at any time…and yet you continue on, because happiness is no longer just a part of your past but also right at your fingertips. My moment was this past January when I sat on the edge of my bed wondering how this was happening to me…how this moment was happening to me. It wasn’t long though before I realized that it wasn’t happening to me…it was becoming a part of me; a part of my experience, a part of my past and most importantly, a part of my future.

I’ve spent a good part of my life being afraid of “moments” – sad moments, scary moments, life changing moments, missing the moment, capturing the moment, being in the moment…I much preferred the subtle passing of time that enabled me to experience the transition of life with the least amount of battle scars. But here’s the thing…in the midst of my moment, I caught myself wondering if you can ever really leave a mark on the world if you’ve never really been inflicted with one?

So here I am…four months after impact and having decided that the moment is all there really is. My life has been shaped by one moment after another that I never once took the opportunity to embrace for fear of what I might find. Now, having survived one of the more tumultuous moments I’ve ever known…I want nothing more than to take them all in and if I’m really lucky…capture some of them through the eyes of someone who’s only seeing them for the very first time.

Ladies and Gentlemen…Welcome to Fifteen:Fifty-One Photography!

“Behold, I show you mystery,

we may not all sleep, but we will all be changed,

in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye…”

~ 1 Corinthians 15:51